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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 5th, 2017, 1:53 pm 
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:D

I would certainly admit to meeting Haldir before he has the chance to greet Aragorn and tell him to go home because he's going to get killed during the battle... he is after all my AU father in the family tree!! I would never use a spell so that the Elven archers can't understand Aragorn's orders, and start shooting at the Rohirrim instead of the Orcs... because sadly I do not have that skill. So, I would resort to tossing Gimli into the Orc fighters rather than across the gap.




1. Spit in Gimli's rum while he is not looking and see if he notices a flavor change
2. Sound the battle alarm in the middle of the night at Edoras when there is no enemy just to make everyone get up in the middle of the night and then surprise them with a polka party.
3. Paint a portrait of Arwen and Aragorn as a "wedding gift" and give Arwen Aragorn's beard in the painting.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 6th, 2017, 2:25 pm 
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I would admit to spitting in Gimli's rum while he wasn't looking to see if he would notice a change in flavour, but only after I got caught sounding the battle alarm in the middle of the night at Edoras, despite there being no enemy.

Sadly, I would never get to surprise them a polka party, because Éomer was so angry at being awoken in the middle of the night, for no reason, he clapped me in irons and sent me to the cellars to acquire an intimate knowledge of their dungeons.

As for painting a portrait of Arwen and Aragorn as a "wedding gift", and placing Aragorn's beard on Arwen, well, you can blame it on the exceedingly poor (read that as non-existent) lighting in the Edoras dungeons.

1. Help Ecthelion toss Gothmog into the fountain to extinguish his flaming life.
2. Come to Glorfindel's rescue when he's attacked by the Balrog while fleeing Gondolin.
3. Awaken the Balrog of Moria and help it plan a sneak attack on the Fellowship.

And, yes, I know. There's a bit of a theme.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 6th, 2017, 9:19 pm 
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Themes are alright.

I would get caught help Ecthelion toss Gothmog into the fountain to extinguish his flaming life, then...
I would admit that I did come to Glorfindel's rescue when he was attacked by the Balrog while fleeing Gondolin.
I would never awaken the Balrog of Moria and help it plan a sneak attack on the Fellowship.



1. Smart off to Denathor, then run our laughing
2. Tell Boromir his father is a dunderhead
3. Sneak into Boromir's room at night and steal his sword and hide it in Dentahor's room to incriminate him for the theft.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 8th, 2017, 4:58 pm 
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I would admit to smarting off to Denethor when I got caught sneaking into Boromir's room at night to steal his sword so I could I it in Denethor's room, and then incriminate him for the theft. I would never tell Boromir his father is a dunderhead, because I'm sure he already knows this tidbit.

1. Tell the enemy when Faramir and his Company are riding out to meet them in battle.
2. Tell the Witch-king that the prophecy will not come true if he avoids, the woman and the hobbit.
3. Tell Faramir that Éowyn wants to meet him even though she has no clue who his is.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 8th, 2017, 8:26 pm 
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I would admit to telling the enemy when Faramir and his Company are riding out to meet them in battle.... this is why they were waiting in the movie!!!
I would never tell the Witch-king that the prophecy will not come true if he avoids, the woman and the hobbit because I want his position and he is an "obstacle" for me.
I would get caught telling Faramir that Éowyn wants to meet him even though she has no clue who he is. Then... I would kidnap them both and offer them as tribute to Sauron in exchange for the Witchking's position after his death.



1. Tie Gandalf's hands so that he can not help Pippin when he looks into the Palantir
2. Follow Frodo and Sam on their quest and wake Frodo every time he starts to get any small amount of sleep.
3. Steal Sam's skillets so he has no weapon when he goes back for Frodo

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 9th, 2017, 2:26 pm 
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:lol: :notworthy: You're on a roll!

I would admit to tying Gandalf's hands so he can't help Pippin when he looks into the Palantír, because it's an excellent opportunity to steal it from him and check in with the Big Guy myself.

Of course I would only admit to this, after I got caught following Frodo and Sam on their quest, so that I could wake up Frodo every time he starts to get even the smallest amount of sleep. Naturally, I would cringe and act craven in order to try and convince them that I was only acting on the orders I got from the Big Guy, when I stole the Palantír from Pippin.

Alas, I would never get the opportunity to steal Sam's skillets so he has no weapon when he goes back for Frodo, because I would be incarcerated in the Orthanc dungeons where I would be constantly complaining of rising damp, and foul odours.

1. Spy on Lúthien while she's dancing and post pictures of it all over soial media.
2. Show Beren posts and tell him that the love of his life has become a huge media star.
3. Blame Daeron for posting the pictures.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 12th, 2017, 1:46 pm 
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Don't worry, after I scheme my way into the Witchking's position i will release you from the prison and the foul odours... I will need more people to help establish rule over the land!! *evil laugh*


I would admit that I did spy on Lúthien while she's dancing and post pictures of it all over soial media. Only, however, because when I would show Beren posts and tell him that the love of his life has become a huge media star and then try and Blame Daeron for posting the pictures, I would be caught because Daeron has an iron clad alibi and so I would never get the chance to officially "Blame him"



1. Save one of Arwen's mother's most treasured possessions after her death and then have a bidding war between Elrond and Arwen and auction it off to the highest bidder.
2. Convince Aragorn that Arwen has been stabbed by a morgul blade and turned into a wraith.
3. Convince Sam not to go with frodo... after all he is "Just a gardener."

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 13th, 2017, 4:05 pm 
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I would never save one of Celebrían's most treasured possessions after her death, and then start a bidding war between Elrond and Arwen so I could action it off to the highest bidder ... it just seems too gauche, even for me.

I would admit to convincing Aragorn that Arwen had been stabbed by a Morgul blade, and been turned into a wraith but, only after being caught trying to convince Sam not to accompany Frodo because ... after all, he's "just a gardener".

1. Tell Nienor that she's safe to go for a walk in the fresh air to give Glaurung the opportunity to cast his spell on her.
2. Tell Morwen that Nienor and Túrin have met and fallen in love.
3. Rescue Húrin so that he can break up the relationship between his son and daughter.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 13th, 2017, 11:34 pm 
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I would never tell Nienor that she's safe to go for a walk in the fresh air to give Glaurung the opportunity to cast his spell on her.
I would admit that I did tell Morwen that Nienor and Túrin have met and fallen in love.
And would be caught rescueing Húrin so that he can break up the relationship between his son and daughter.



1. Steal all the hobbits away from Hobiton and send them to Rivendel to annoy the elves
2. Feed the horses in Rohan Loco weed so they start acting crazy
3. Tell Eowyn that you have a way to make her soup better and then poisen it, making everyone very sick and laying the blame on her

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 14th, 2017, 2:36 pm 
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I would get caught stealing all of the Hobbits away from Hobbiton when the first unruly batch arrived at Rivendell and began annoying the Elves. Under strict questioning by Lords Glorfindel and Elrond about this event, I would break down and confess that I fed all of the horses in Rohan loco week which was why they started acting crazy.

I would never tell Éowyn that I had a way to make her soup better and then poison it, because, frankly, adding poison to it would not make everyone any sicker than they already got from eating it without poison. And, they already blame her for their illness.

1. Tell Old Man Willow there are some nice Hobbits on the way to see him.
2. Forget to tell Tom Bombadil that Old Man Willow has caught some of the Hobbits.
3. Steal Goldberry's laundry and sell the goods at the market in Bree.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 17th, 2017, 9:25 pm 
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I would admit that I did tell Old Man Willow there are some nice Hobbits on the way to see him, after getting caught "forgetting" to tell Tom Bombadil that Old Man Willow has caught some of the Hobbits. I would never steal any of Goldberry's laundry and sell the goods at the market in Bree because I would keep them in hopes that there were magical qualities in the cloth.


1. Offer the Witchking a hobbit in exchange for a ride on his fell beast
2. Tell Golum that he is terrible at riddles
3. Destroy Bilbo's birthday cake right as they are about to cut it.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 18th, 2017, 3:36 pm 
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I would admit to offering the Witch-King a hobbit in exchange for a ride on his fell beast, but only after I got caught telling Gollum that he is terrible at riddles. ( By the Valar that creature can screech when he's angry!)

I would never destroy Bilbo's birthday cake just as they're about to cut it because I want a slice of it.

1. Steal Bilbo's mithril shirt so he can't give it to Bilbo.
2. Sneak into Elrond's council and then report everything to Sauron.
3. Follow the Fellowship and tell the Nazgûl where they are camped.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 19th, 2017, 2:13 pm 
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I would admit to stealing Bilbo's mithril shirt so he can't give it to Frodo.
Would never sneak into Elrond's council and then report everything to Sauron because I would use that time to stel the mithril shirt while everyone is at the council.
Then I would be caught following the Fellowship and tell the Nazgûl where they are camped.


1. Hide stolen contraband in Frodo's pack right before he leaves Rivendel and then frame him for stealing it
2. Tell Elrond the Hobbits are working with Sauron and will take the ring to Golum, one of Sauron's agent's
3. Destroy the bridge at Rivendel so no one can cross the river.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 19th, 2017, 6:25 pm 
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I would get caught, and charged, with hiding stolen contraband in Frodo's pack on the eve of his departure from Rivendell because, when I tried to frame him for stealing it, a quick investigation would show that he was listening to Glorfindel's stories at the time in question; a fact attested to by the numerous elves who were also in attendance.

During the interrogation would cave and admit that I had planned to destroy the bridge at Rivendell to keep him from leaving before I could fame him.

However, in a moment of clarity during the intense questioning, I would decide to never tell Elrond the hobbits were working with Sauron to get the Ring to his agent, Gollum, because it would just exacerbate my problems.

1. Steal a large portion of Smaug's treasure while he's out stealing cattle for dinner.
2. Tell Thorin that the dragon wishes to 'negotiate' with him over ownership of Erebor.
3. Tell Balin there's a Balrog in Moria so he, and other dwarves, would desert Thorin's group to go and kill it.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 19th, 2017, 7:41 pm 
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I would admit that I did steal a large portion of Smaug's treasure while he's out stealing cattle for dinner.
I would then be caught telling Thorin that the dragon wishes to 'negotiate' with him over ownership of Erebor. Soon after I would desert Erebor and thus never get to tell Balin there's a Balrog in Moria so he, and other dwarves, would desert Thorin's group to go and kill it.



1. Free Golum when Sauron has him in captivity.
2. Tell the witch king that Eowyn has a crush on him
3. Tell Theoden that Eowyn is riding to battle with him.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: February 20th, 2017, 7:56 pm 
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I would admit to freeing Gollum from the dungeons of Barad-dûr and, during the intense questioning after my capture, I would get caught lying when I tried to convince the Witch-King that Éowyn had a crush on him when he said: "Éowyn? Who's Éowyn?"

I would never tell Théoden that Éowyn was riding into battle with because, well, every Shieldmaiden deserves to weild her sword in battle.

1. Offer to cook dinner for the three trolls so Bilbo and company could plunder their hoard.
2. Offer to steal the Arkenstone and give it to Thranduil for a couple of barrels of his finest wines.
3. Tell Gelion that the empty barrels are actually stuffed with dwarves trying to escape.

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