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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 10:59 pm 
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Paige nodded thoughtfully at Rick's comment, lost in thought. Was he hinting that he wanted her to leave? A surge of paranoia went through her and she glanced out the window toward Shaun. Were they the outsiders? She had been an outsider all her life, always on her own with nobody to look out for her. Maybe she was meant to stay that way. Cut her losses and strike out on her own. She glanced over at the others, wondering if they felt the turmoil inside like she did or if they knew their place in the world. Paige couldn't help but envy them, sure that they were only going to humour her for so long before kicking her out.

"I guess we'll just need to see if anybody has a reason to leave," she muttered, unable to keep the upset tone out of her voice.

Looking back out the window, she cursed herself for letting her mood swings and attitude get the better of her yet again.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 11:04 pm 
Vala
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"If someone wants to leave we're not going to keep them here by force," Evan butted in, her tone annoyed.

Her mind felt blurry after everything and she still had too many emotions bottled up. On the one hand she wanted to cry and hug Lindsey for still being alive and on the other she wanted to slap Rick across the face just because everything about him was so confusing and made her angry. Then she wanted to kick Paige out of the moving car for her being so rude and unpleasant in spite of everything they'd done for her - but she bit it all down. She knew she was on the verge of overreacting again and she couldn't have another meltdown. Not yet, anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 11:08 pm 
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Paige snorted under her breath. By force. As if that'd ever happen. For one, there was no way in heck that Evan or Rick would want to keep her around. Lindsey maybe but she was just a kid. And even if they did, they had guns and what could she do against that. Her annoyance turned to bitter sorrowness and she had to bite down hard on her lip to stop herself from bursting into tears. She despised herself for letting her emotions go so crazy, but she couldn't help it. For as long as she could remember, Paige had always been this way. One minute she'd be happy and the next minute she'd wish herself dead. Her parents had said she'd grow out of it but they obviously weren't alive any more so she couldn't prove them wrong.

The thought of her parents was the final straw and she had to bow her head to hide the fact her eyes were welling up and she hoped she could pass for sleeping as long as she didn't let her shoulders shake as she cried.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 11:30 pm 
Vala
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It took them an additional five days to find a house they could actually stay in. At least for the time being. It had two floors and was a dirty gray. The porch starting in the front stretched all the way around to the side and then back, in a smooth curve. Although it was sturdy it wasn't new and a few windows had been broken when they first arrived. But after a lot of work they'd managed to clear it out, making it safe, boarding up all the windows on the bottom floor. Because the house was a farmhouse, it had its own well and so the water was still running; cold of course. It was a nice change from their earlier knowledge of having to be careful with their water unless they wanted to risk dehydration or death. The first floor had a combined kitchen and living room, as well as a dining room and the master bedroom. Across from the master bedroom was a smaller bedroom. Evan had claimed the master, because she and Lindsey wanted to share the big bed in there. Rick threw his bag on the smaller bed in the other bedroom and made it his, although Evan suspected he'd only sleep whenever he felt he really had to. At the top of the stairs were another two bedrooms as well as a tiny bathroom. In between the bedrooms on the first floor the master bathroom was positioned.

The people living there seemed to have left in a hurry, taking only what they needed with them, but leaving much behind. To Evan's (and Lindsey's too, even Rick's) delight they'd found towels, soap, shampoo and stuffed in a wardrobe or two they'd found some clothes. Nothing that would fit any of them perfectly, but with some creativity Evan had managed to find herself some new jeans and a wife-beater that was only a little too big. For Lindsey she'd cut off the bottom of another pair of jeans and dug out a belt from deep within one of the closets so the trousers wouldn't fall off the girl. The T-shirt she was given was blue and she nearly drowned in it, but it was clean. At least. Months ago Evan would have cringed at the thought of wearing dead people's (well, assumed dead people's) clothes, but now it didn't matter. After having taken a freezing shower, washing her hair, scrubbing the grime, sweat and gore off of her she'd almost died from the sensation of tugging on clean clothes. Even Rick had found a black t-shirt and some jeans to wear - these fitting him better. From portraits they'd found it was obviously an older couple and their adult son who had lived in the house, but unfortunately the older couple had been a bit on the heavier side, so their clothes weren't good for much else other than to sleep in, Evan decided.

They'd also found some dried food that wasn't ruined and a few cans of soup and vegetables. Nothing fancy, but it didn't matter to them at all. There was no electricity but they'd found so many candles in a chest in the attic that it didn't matter. Together they'd spread them out around the house, while vowing together to never leave any burning in a room they left behind. They'd found the house early in the morning and they'd spent the entire day looking through it to find weapons, supplies, and then securing it, sorting food together, cleaning up, making the beds fresh with linnen from a closet and they'd even lit a fire in the fireplace; simply because they could and because it made Lindsey happy.

When night rolled around Evan found herself in the living room, wearing clean, albeit slightly ill-fitting, clothes, with her hair wet but untangled and her spirit higher than it had been in months. Her eyes kept glancing from Rick who was on the floor with Lindsey, playing with a deck of cards they'd found and towards the fire causing shadows to dance around them. She felt calm, for once. Serenity. She knew that when they at last headed to bed she'd be knocked out the moment her head hit the clean and soft pillow. Even the awkwardness that still arose between her and Rick from time to time couldn't crush her mood. They were in a house. Their house. And they were safe. As long as someone always kept watch, and they kept vigilante, they were safe. It felt so alien that Evan almost had to laugh.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 11:42 pm 
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The feeling of being in a house again was overwhelming at first to Paige. When they first arrived after setting up, she'd claimed a bed and taken a short nap, glad just to rest properly. But when she woke, for a second she forgot everything that happened and thought she was back in her flat, everything normal again. Then Shaun had padded into the room in his jeans and no t-shirt, saying they had running water and asked if she wanted to use the shower before him and dissapointment washed over her. She covered it by throwing a pillow at him, cursing and telling him to put some clothes on and then sulked under her duvet for a good hour.

Despite her mixed emotions, she started to feel a little settled. Helping the others make sure the house was secure made her feel much better and a shower had her walking on air for hours. Feeling productive she'd even made lists of all they'd found in the house and what they'd brought with them, making an inventory so they would know how much they had and how long it would last them.

In her moments alone towards the end of the day she sat out on the porch watching the clouds go by. The days were slowly getting shorter and the nights longer, the cold seeping in and causing her to shiver. It made Paige mourn for her lost days of sitting by a warm fire with hot chocolate and an old black-and-white film on the telly. Now she just curled up alone on the porch, occaisionally swatting at the flies that would land on her bare arms and wishing she had the inner strength to form tighter bonds with the others in the group. But fears and insecurities held her back, so she found herself keeping alone preferring to sit in the cold air until it was time for her to help out or sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 11:54 pm 
Vala
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When darkness had engulfed the house Evan got to her feet, stretching. "C'mon Linds, we're going to bed."

"What? I'm not tired." Evan threw her a look and both Lindsey and Rick started laughing. "Okay, you're right. I'm exhausted."

Lindsey scrambled to her feet and Evan rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, glancing at Rick who also got to his feet.

"You heading to bed too?" she asked him, tentatively.

He shook his head. "No, I'll keep watch for a while. I'll ask Shaun to take over in a bit, then get some rest."

Awkwardly she shifted from one foot to the other, as Lindsey wrapped her arms around Rick's middle suddenly, taking him by surprise. It didn't surprise Evan, the girl had clearly already fallen head over heels for their new friend.

"Goodnight, Rick," she said when she released him, showing him all her teeth in a wide smile. He returned it, still stunned.

"Goodnight, kiddo."

Lindsey twirled around on her feet, her hair swirling behind her - it was also damp, since Evan had forced her to take a shower too, in spite of her continuous screeching that the water was too cold. Evan bit her lip awkwardly.

"Well, goodnight," she mumbled and then turned around without giving him a chance to respond.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 17th, 2013, 11:59 pm 
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Paige heard noises of the others heading to bed and she knew she should do the same. It was getting dark and it probably wasn't safe out here alone. They had no idea how many walkers were in this area, or if there was any other survivors nearby. But everyone else was inside, no doubt thinking she was in her own bed and Paige couldn't bring herself to move. She leaned her head back against the wall of the house, stretching her feet out and enjoying the feeling of the cold wind on her bare skin. The cold was bareable, it kept her awake and helped her get her head together. She tried talking to herself, telling herself that she needed to talk to the others, explain what was going on in her head and how she really felt. But that would mean they'd think she was weak, and Paige knew she'd rather they thought of her as a cold-hearted cow than as the weak one of the group.

As she argued with herself over the matter she could hear Shaun talking inside. Whether he was talking to himself or someone else, Paige wasn't sure. She wished she could be as easy going as him or as trusting as Rick or as protected as Lindsey or as strong as Evan. Instead she was just... Paige.

Her eyelids felt heavy and she let herself close them, telling herself it would just be for a minute and she wouldn't let herself fall asleep.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:09 am 
Vala
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When Evan reached the bedroom Lindsey had already taken a place in the bed, the right side of it, the one furthest from the door. She grinned happily at Evan when she came in, carrying a candlestick with her. The flickering lights made the shadows on the girl's face dance eerily.

"I can't believe we're going to sleep in a bed!" she exclaimed, pulling the thick duvet up to her chin, leaning back against the soft pillows.

Evan laughed. "I know what you mean. It feels unbelievable."

She'd already changed into a massive t-shirt and a pair of shorts she'd found in the wardrobe, while she was in the bathroom, rubbing some toothpaste across her teeth. The minty taste in her mouth almost made her heart skip a beat - something so simple, and yet so missed. She joined Lindsey under the duvet and crept close to the girl, until their heads were almost touching.

"I love you, Evan," Lindsey said suddenly, the words taking Evan by surprise. They hadn't expressed their fondness for each other before, only to others or indirectly. Not like that.

Evan placed a hand on Lindsey's pale face. "I love you too, kiddo."

Then they closed their eyes, letting their breathing even out, both feeling completely calm since they knew Rick was upstairs, peering out the windows of each side of the house methodically, making sure he'd see any walkers that approached them in good time. Evan was asleep within minutes.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:20 am 
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Shaun finally had a minute of peace and quiet alone and that was when he took advantage of it and decided to talk to his sister. He knew she was dead, he'd been the one to kill her, but that didn't stop him hearing her voice in his head and having conversations with her. Thought recently she'd stopped answering back as much, so he just rambled out loud to her.

"Georgia, I don't know what to do without you," he sighed, picking under his nails with the tip of his knife. "There's nobody around to tell me to be more careful, to remind me to stop being so reckless, to have a steadier aim. God, I miss you. We always thought I'd be the one to go first, diving off some cliff and hitting the rocks badly or an accident on my bike. We never talked about it but we both knew it. I'm sorry it had to be you."

He looked around the house he was in, wondering what Georgia would have made of it, what she'd have made of the people. He chuckled to himself, imagining it.

"You'd say Rick was a fool for letting strangers come with him, say Evan was a bigger fool for burdening herself with a kid and Paige? You'd probably battle with her for who can be the moodiest and most anti-social in the group. I'd say she reminds me of you, except I always knew how you were feeling, what you were thinking. Sometimes I think Paige must be totally blank inside, her face is impossible to read."

Shaun sighed to himself, tucking his knife back into his belt and getting himself a small drink of water. He could swear he could almost hear the faint sound of Georgia's laughter and it made him want to swear. He knew what she'd think of everyone else in the group, and he knew what she'd think of him too. She'd tell him that he was losing it and he'd no doubt be the death of them all.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:24 am 
Vala
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Rick found Shaun in the kitchen, his eyes heavy with must needed sleep and he offered the young man a courteous nod. "Could you take watch upstairs for a bit? I need some rest."

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:26 am 
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Shaun nodded.

"Sure, not a problem. I'm still wide awake, so go get some sleep. You could use it."

He smiled, trying to act like he hadn't just been talking to himself like a total idiot. But if everyone else was in bed, he could do what he wanted. As long as he made sure he kept a proper watch, he reminded himself, keeping an eye on the windows outside.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:46 am 
Vala
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Rick nodded again, his face blank. He didn't mistrust the newcomer, he'd been helpful, but he was too confused. Too tired. He didn't have the energy to smile. Not right then. He turned on his heels and headed for the bedroom opposite the master's, where he knew the two women he felt ridiculously protective over rested. He paused momentarily in between the two doors, but then moved towards their door, pressing his ear to it. He heard nothing, except for the occasional breathing sound. Relieved he turned towards his own door and stepped in. Too exhausted to do anything but throw off his jeans and shoes he fell into bed, climbing under the covers instantly. Lately he'd felt terrible. Awful. Like a horrible husband and father. He hadn't forgotten about his lost family, but he felt like he had. For crying out loud, he'd slept with Evan only months after Lori died. And Carl... he had pushed the memories of him away because they were too painful, and instead he spent all his energy on keeping Lindsey entertained and safe. He had always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter. And... when he allowed himself to remember why they'd come to the UK in the first place his guilt lessened a bit. He and Lori had marital problems, and that's why they decided to go on the trip. Together with their son. To try and keep it together. For Carl. He had loved her but sometimes in their marriage it felt like it wasn't enough.

With a deep huff he turned from his stomach to his back, staring restlessly up at the ceiling. He was confused and angry. With himself, for allowing that moment to happen between him and Evan. And at her, for refusing to talk about it or acknowledge it. Had it meant something? Was it just the adrenaline and heat of the moment? Did he want it to mean something? Rick rubbed his face, trying to sort the thoughts out. No, he didn't want it to mean something. If it did, that would mean complicated, and he didn't want that.

Finally, he let out a long breath, and then closed his eyes firmly.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:50 am 
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It had been a pretty uneventful night and Shaun was grateful. The highlight of his hours keeping watch had been when Paige had stumbled in from outside, murmering about falling sleep on the porch. She'd been shivering like crazy and he'd rushed to her side, half-carrying her up to bed where he tucked her in like she was just a kid. He'd brushed her hair off her face as she fell back into a deep sleep, muttering words under her breath that he couldn't understand.

Now it was morning he could hear the sounds of her getting up again. Knowing she probably wouldn't acknowledge last night, Shaun felt a bite of dissapointment that he quickly pushed away. He had to take it a step at a time at figuring her out, but morning probably wasn't the best place to start.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 12:57 am 
Vala
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When Evan woke up Lindsey was still completely out. She blinked rapidly, trying to get used to the slightly lighter room. Of course because of the windows being boarded up it'd never get really bright, but there were a few cracks and through them the sun found its way inside. She yawned, sitting up, pushing the duvet away. Then she rememebered the dream she had and realized there was something she really had to do.

Taking care not to wake Lindsey she got out of bed, pulling her hair to the side, trying to flatten it down with her hands. Within seconds she'd left the room behind, the door slightly open, so the girl wouldn't be alarmed if she woke up and didn't hear the familiar noises of the others. Evan hesitated for a moment outside of Rick's door, but then raised her hand and knocked softly with her knuckles. When there was no response she knocked a little harder. This time she could hear him stir.

"What is it?" he called through the door.

Evan bit her lip sharply, forcing herself to do this. It was time. She'd known the man for two weeks and yet he'd managed to confuse her more than anyone else she'd known before. She didn't know if it was because she was genuinely attracted to him or because of the end of the world and everyone dying - but she had to find out. And she had to know what he thought. She needed them to have that awkward talk about what had happened between them.

"It's me," she responded. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure." A moment later he'd opened the door, wearing a black t-shirt and his boxers. His hair stood in every direction. He motioned for her to enter and she felt her heart beat faster as she slipped inside.

She was not looking forward to the next step in her plan.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 1:06 am 
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Eventually Paige stumbled down the stairs, not fully dressed yet. She was wearing one of the nightgowns they'd found in the house, an old-fashioned one that came to just above her knees and was made of a thin white material with thin shoulder straps and lace at the bottom. She'd found it in the bedroom she was in and it felt so good to be in something fresh and light that she didn't care how ridiculous she looked, she was positive she'd never wear anything except this ever again.

When she passed Shaun, she couldn't help but notice him staring at her legs. Pausing, Paige looked down at them too. Pale with light ginger hairs and too scrawny for a dancer. They looked like the legs belonging to a sick person, so she turned her full glare on Shaun.

"Quit gawking," she snapped. "Don't you know it's rude to stare?"

"Don't you know it's rude to be such a harpy?" He shot back, lacking his usual signature smirk.

Paige double-taked, shocked that he'd actually lost his usual manner of speaking and actually snapped back at her.

"Who the hel-" She was about to swear at him, then stopped herself. "Wait? Harpy? People still actually use that word?"

Shaun started to smirk, shrugging as if he couldn't help it and like that the two of them burst out laughing. Paige was too busy trying to hide her giggles that she didn't think twice about the smug look of success in Shaun's eyes.

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 Post subject: Re: To The End [Private]
PostPosted: May 18th, 2013, 1:37 am 
Vala
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"It'd really help if you'd say something."

Evan was pacing back and forth in front of Rick, who was sitting on his bed with a confused expression on his face. Evan had tried time after time to say what she wanted to say, but every single time she opened her mouth nothing came out. So instead she paced, back and forth, ranting in her head, but not to Rick. Not out loud. Not how she should've. So of course she looked like an idiot, and he couldn't help but gawk awkwardly at her.

"Okay," Evan said for the tenth time. "Okay."

Another few turns back and forth.

"Okay..."

"Oh my god, you're making me dizzy. Stop!"

She did. She froze in front of him, clenching and unclenching her hands. "We had sex."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Yes..."

"I don't know why," she pressed out. "And I don't know if I want to know why, but I think I need to know. I don't know." She let out a frustrated huff and sat down next to him. "I feel like everything's so jumbled in my head. Like I can't be around you because it's awkward, and you judge me as a... well, I can't use any nice words here I'm afraid."

He shook his head. "No, I don't judge you. I don't know either. It's... confusing."

"To say the last." Evan hid her face in her hands for a moment. Then looked at him again. "Do we need to talk about it? About why it happened? If it'll happen again? If we regret it? Do we need to talk about that?"

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked instead of answering.

"I think so. I don't know."

She rose to her feet, pacing again, and Rick rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'll talk. We did sleep together. And I don't regret it, only because I see no reason to. We're out here, it's a different world, everything works differently. We got caught up in the heat of a moment and we got swept away, and that's okay. We shouldn't feel guilty about it. It happened, and that's fine. Let's not regret it, let's not read something bigger into it, let's just admit that that's what it was."

Evan nodded slowly, stopping again. "Okay. I can do that. We slept together in the heat of the moment, we don't regret it, but we shouldn't read anything else into it. We're not in love and we're not getting married." She added the last bit as a joke, and he did grin.

"Getting married would be pointless out here anyway," he responded, and it was her turn to grin.

"Definitely."

There was a beat.

"I can live with that," she declared finally. "That sounds fine."

"As for if we'll do it again, well, who knows." He shrugged, the grin having turned into a smirk; he was obviously teasing her.

"Yeah, who knows." She rolled her eyes. "I'm glad we're good. Yep. Good. Okay. Phew."

"Were you always this good at communicating with people?"

"I've never had to talk to someone thirteen years older than me about that time we slept together after knowing each other for a week, so excuse me for not doing it smoothly." She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed.

"True."

For a moment neither of them said anything, the humorous atmosphere still hanging on to them tightly.

"I've learned," Evan began, "that when things are good, people tend to do them again. And it was good."

Before he had a chance to reply she winked at him and walked out the door.

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