To The End [Private]
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Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 12:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Paige watched the back and forth between Evan and Rick with interest. She wasn't sure what had happened the last time they'd went out and had a feeling if they hadn't told her then she probably shouldn't ask. But she was still curious.

"You know," she started slowly. "We could all go. The area seems quiet so we'd be safe and with four of us we could cover more ground, carry more stuff and be done a lot quicker."

She glanced at Lindsey in the backseat, knowing that she couldn't defend herself as well as the rest of them. But Paige hated waiting in the car, feeling useless and wanted to help.

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 12:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"No way," Evan shot out instantly, a bit harsher than she wanted to. "Staying in the car with a gun is the safest option, if anything happens you can take off. Lindsey's not going out there, wandering!"

The memory of how close it had been for Rick to lose his life the last time they'd left the safety of the car haunted her. Although she could joke with him about it the truth was that it still shook her. He was part of the group now, he had saved them, he'd proven that he was trustworthy and he'd shown nothing but kindness. He was their friend. Part of their family. Almost losing him put a pang of pain straight in Evan's heart, but the thought of losing Lindsey almost crushed her.

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"If we're almost out of gas then we won't be able to drive very far if you guys don't come back will we?" Paige shot back. "You didn't help me just so I could sit in the car and be useless, did you? We're in this together, all of us, as equals and if you don't let me help or at least do something I might just go insane."

Paige took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and hoping she'd not overstepped it. Althought she was frustrated, she could understand where Evan was coming from. Those three were together as a group, and she was just an extra getting in the way.

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Rick started to speak, but Evan cut him off, her worn mind taking the upper hand and an overreaction dripping from every word. "Look, if you don't think that keeping Lindsey safe is helping, then I really don't want you to stick around. We did give you a place in our group and we did help you when we didn't have to - now you either do as told or go on your merry way!"

Of course, the outburst caused Lindsey to wake, and she glanced around the vehicle nervously. Rick seemed like he wanted to say something, but the tension radiating off of Evan stopped him.

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 1:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Paige had to grit her teeth to stop herself swearing or screaming. She'd noticed the younger girl had woken up and she didn't want to lose her cool in front of her and upset her. They got on well and Paige wanted to keep it that way.

"Look, I get that you're concerned about Lindsey but you can't just order me around and tell me what to do. You can't just treat me like I'm here as some sort of, sort of," she grasped for the right words, her anger making it hard to think. "Like I'm some sort of pet, just to sit and stay when you tell me to! If I do go, then you'll just be three and then what will you do, Evan? Leave Lindsey alone in the car or put Rick or you in danger by going out alone?"

Paige paused to take a breath, letting her words sink in. She had to stick to her guns now.

"I get that you want to keep Lindsey safe but if you two are the only ones who go out into the danger then you're going to end up wearing yourselves out. And if we are the four of us then we all get a say in making a decision. Lindsey included."

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

A string of curses fell from Evan's lips, words so graphic that Rick's hands shot out to cover Lindsey's ears.

"Cut it out," he snarled at her, and Evan felt the frustration of the entire situation overwhelming her. Now it was apparently Paige and Rick against her and Lindsey. Or maybe Lindsey had switched teams too.

"You don't seem to get it!" Evan was almost shouting now, her hands trembling on the wheel, making her steering and their course the tiniest bit wobbly on the road. "I would gladly go out on my own to die if it meant that she was safe, and yeah I would gladly send Rick out and you out to die if it meant she was safe too. But because I think it's not okay to sentence others to death because of something I feel I'm happy to go out there on my own, if need be."

She had to swallow, to force the tears back down.

"We came seconds away from losing Rick the last time we ventured out, and if you and I had been in that situation then one or both of us would have died!" she snarled the last bit, biting it out, venomously. "If you want to be useful then just stay by the darn car!"

"Evan, what she's saying makes sense, calm down," Rick tried but Evan shook her head violently.

"Are you staying behind then? Because I'm not, and if you want to send two women who aren't trained in how to handle weapons like you are, sheriff" - she threw his profession back in the States in his face, a piece of information he'd shared with her in confidence, although he hadn't explained why he didn't want it to become public knowledge - "then go right ahead!"

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 1:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"Then he can train us," snapped Paige. The other woman's anger was making her just as furious. She pushed her hair off her face and turned to face Rick, amazed that he was actually agreeing with her. "You have a spare gun, you know how to use weapons, you're obviously the most skilled out of all of us. So you can train us so we're good enough to defend ourselves."

She turned back to Evan, narrowing her eyes at her.

"Do you honestly think you can protect Lindsey from all this? Because I thought you were pretty smart, but if you do think that then I was wrong. Because you can't protect her forever, damn it, look at the world outside! It's Hell on Earth and if you keep trying to hide it from her then if anything happens to us then she's not gonna stand a chance. If you give her a chance to learn, to train with us now while we can protect her and teach her then maybe if anything does happen to you, then you haven't signed her death sentence too!"

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Without a word Evan slammed her foot on the breaks, causing the car to swerve sharply to the left but she kept the car on the road by turning right. As soon as the car came to a halt she unbuckled her seatbelt without a word, throwing the door open, and climbing out. She was done. She couldn't handle it. She didn't know how to keep all the emotions in anymore. For too long she'd put up a facade in front of Lindsey that she knew what she was doing, that she knew what was going on, that she knew what to do - she had no idea. She was like a lost toddler at the mall. There was no confidence left in her body and she didn't hold any of the answers she claimed to. Grief and realization slapped her so harshly in the face that she stumbled when she moved away from the vehicle, her hands getting tangled in the mop of brown hair on her head. Sobs racked and crushed her, but she bit them back as hard as she could.

She didn't stop until she was ten feet away from the truck.

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Paige's hands gripped the dashboard as Evan slammed on the breaks and she had to stop herself from screaming or shouting at her. When they came to a stop, Paige expected to receive her marching orders but instead it was Evan who got out the car. As Paige watched her walk away she wondered if maybe she had said too much and without thinking about it she unbuckled her seatbelt and had jumped out of the car and followed Evan. She approached her, not getting too close but close enough that they'd be able to talk without having to shout.

"Look, Evan," she hesitated wondering if she should apologise. But she did stand by her words. "If you want me to leave, I will."

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"Just leave me alone," Evan retorted, tears heavy in her voice. "Leave me the shirt alone!"

She heard footsteps on the pavement, and when he spoke it confirmed her suspicions about who had joined them. "Evan, let's talk about this rationally," he reasoned.

Evan swirled on her feet, lashing out towards him, pushing him harshly with her hands. "There is no rationality! She's shirting right! There is no point!"

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"Evan, calm the heck down!" Paige was shocked to see her act like this. She'd thought Evan was the calm type but obviously she'd been wrong. She looked over to Rick wondering if he had any idea how to handle this but she doubted it, after all she expected hostility towards herself from Evan, but not towards Rick. She'd thought the two of them were close but now she wasn't so sure.

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"Paige, just get back to the car," Rick instructed sharply, seizing Evan's attacking wrists with his hands. "Evan, calm down!"

The reality of their situation had finally been released into Evan's consciousness, and she'd finally allowed herself to feel everything she'd been pushing down. The fear that had been hovering over her, clawing at her, ripping at her, it had finally escaped the prison she'd built for it and she struggled against Rick's hands, swearing, trembling, sobbing.

"Just let me go!" she cried, trying to free herself from his grip. "Just let me go, I can't do this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore, there's no point. We're already dead."

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 2:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Paige did as Rick said, turning away from the two of them and leaving them to sort this out themselves. Her stomach was in knots, regret and frustration hitting her in waves again and again. She couldn't face going back to the car again, she felt so trapped in there, so she walked past it to the corner of the road, trying to get her thoughts together.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair again, trying to ignore how many knots and tangles were in it. She never thought she'd miss something as insignificant as shampoo and conditioner.

Just as Paige was about to head back to the truck, she noticed something out the corner of her eye and she moved closer, trying to get a better look. After a minute she could see it clearly, a shiny black motorbike parked between two trees, the engine still idling as if the rider was still nearby.

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Evan fought against Rick's grip until she couldn't fight anymore, and then she collapsed, and her knees would have hit the ground if he hadn't caught her. He held her then, allowing her to let every last piece of emotion out. She ranted, angrily, hopelessly, aimlessly, about hating him, hating herself, hating the world, hating everything in it, and then about how useless she was and how useless he was and how useless it all was. Then words concerning her gratitude towards him and his help spilled from her lips incoherently. She'd bottled it up for too long, it all had to come out at some point, and they all did with her face pressed into the side of his neck and her fingers clinging so tightly to the fabric of his shirt that her bones ached.

"I'm sorry," she ranted, "I'm sorry, just sorry, so sorry."

"It's okay," he mumbled, patting her back. She felt gratitude for that too, that he didn't object to her spilling her guts, that he didn't tell her to get it together, that he allowed her to free herself of the emotions she couldn't carry anymore.

Author:  motorkitty [ May 16th, 2013, 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

Paige sprinted towards the motorbike, wondering if it was just some part of her twisted mind projecting or causing her to hallucinate. But no, when she was close enough she reached out a hand and felt that the seat was still warm, and a brown leather rucksack was discarded on the ground next to the front wheel. Glancing around she made sure there was no sign of any undead sneaking up on her and then crouched down next to the rucksack, opening it up.

There were clothes, a small metal box that she couldn't open and some tins of food. She was about to take the bag back to the others as a peace offering but when Paige went to look up she found yet again she had a gun pointed straight at her.

Author:  Bellatrix [ May 16th, 2013, 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: To The End [Private]

"Evan," it was Lindsey, and hearing the girl's voice Evan finally got a grip, forcing her sobs to a stop, looking up from the ground.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, leaning away from Rick, where they'd collapsed together on the pavement. "I got tears all over you."

"Don't worry about it," he said, brushing a stray tear from her sore cheek.

"It's okay to be scared." Lindsey tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "I'm scared too. You don't have to pretend not to be. Not for me. It's okay."

The words shot straight into Evan's heart and she embraced the girl that she loved like a sister, holding her close.

"Wait, where's Paige?" It was Rick who spoke, and Evan released Lindsey, glancing around, noting that there was indeed no trace of her.

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