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the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
http://arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=2468
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Author:  tim4x [ August 31st, 2005, 8:29 am ]
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Elf Girl wrote:
Anyone read "The Salmon of Doubt"?
No, not yet.

"And you spend the next six months thinking about lobsters..."
:laugh:

"If there's anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now."

"Magrathea's been dead for five million years,' said Zaphod; 'Of course it's safe. Even the ghosts will have settled down and raised families by now."

"An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod's faces."

"Computer...' said Zaphod again, who had been trying to think of some subtle piece of reasoning to put the computer down with, and had decided not to bother competing with it on its own ground, 'if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a very large ax, got that?"

"That's it,' said Zaphod with the sort of grin that would get most people locked away in a room with soft walls."

"The computer continued, brash and cheery, as if it were selling detergent."

"Hi there! This is Eddie, your shipboard computer, and I'm feeling just great, guys, and I know I'm just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run through me."

"The Great Hyperbolic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler,' said Deep Thought, thoroughly rolling the r's, 'could talk all four legs off an Arcturan Mega-Donkey -- but only I could persuade it to go for a walk afterward."

"Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem 'Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain."

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly...
...thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabblegotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee,
My foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!"

"Suddenly, a violent noise leaped at them from no source that he could identify. He gasped in terror at what sounded like a man trying to gargle while fighting off a pack of wolves."

"His voice took on the quality of a cat snagging brushed nylon."

"Charming man,' he said. 'I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one...'
'You wouldn't need to,' said Ford. 'They've got as much sex appeal as a road accident."

"One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working."

"Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was.
'Is there any tea on this spaceship?' he asked."

"Arthur slapped his arms about himself to try and get his circulation a little more enthusiastic about its job."

The waiter approached. "Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?" "Huh?" said Ford. "Huh?" said Arthur. "Huh?" said Trillian. "That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat."

"Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?"

Author:  Antigone [ August 31st, 2005, 8:37 am ]
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Quote:
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly...
...thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabblegotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee,
My foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!"



:laugh: nice vogonsesss.... i love this quote!

Quote:
"Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem 'Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain."


i learned this one by heart and annoyed my already annoying family with it for at least 3 months! it was hilarious! :laugh:

Author:  Herenya [ September 5th, 2005, 2:45 am ]
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I was looking up quotes and I stumbled across most of the Hitchhiker's books online! :) They all seem to be there, except for Mostly Harmless. I don't know why? but there they are :blink: ... good if you want to look for a quote and can't remember exactly where it is... just google the site.

http://matt.injustice.net.nz/guide/index.php

(regarding Zaphod's great grandfather...)
"Concentrate," hissed Zaphod, "on his name."
"What is it?" asked Arthur.
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth."
"What?"
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. Concentrate!"
"The Fourth?"
"Yeah. Listen, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third ..."
"What?"
"There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine."


(and it turns out I mis-quoted...)
"Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."
"Well, just who do you think you are, honey?" flounced the insect quivering its wings in rage, "Zaphod Beeblebrox or something?"
"Count the heads," said Zaphod in a low rasp.
The insect blinked at him. It blinked at him again.
"You are Zaphod Beeblebrox?" it squeaked.
"Yeah," said Zaphod, "but don't shout it out or they'll all want one."
"The Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
"No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"
The insect rattled its tentacles together in agitation.
"But sir," it squealed, "I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said that you were dead ..."
"Yeah, that's right," said Zaphod, "I just haven't stopped moving yet."

Author:  Antigone [ September 12th, 2005, 12:51 pm ]
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:laugh: OMG OMG I can't stop laughing! It-s-so-hilarious! :laugh:

Author:  ~Shieldmaiden~ [ September 12th, 2005, 2:30 pm ]
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"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxication in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen."


:laugh: That's my absolute favorite line.

Author:  Inualchemist [ October 29th, 2005, 4:29 pm ]
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OMG, I just finished the first book, and it was hilarious!!! I'm going to Barnes an Nobles later today to get more books in the series!

"If you'd call it a robot. I'd call it a sulk machine." :laugh:

Author:  Antigone [ October 30th, 2005, 5:25 am ]
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Awesome, isn't it?

"What?" it said into the phone. "Yes, I passed on your message to Mr Zarniwoop, but I'm afraid he's too cool to see you right now. He's on an intergalactic cruise."

Author:  vikingmaiden [ November 12th, 2005, 12:50 pm ]
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Elf Girl wrote:
Anyone read "The Salmon of Doubt"?

I love The Salmon of Doubt! Great book.

Author:  Antigone [ November 13th, 2005, 5:30 am ]
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Unfortunately I'm reading the Salmon translated so I can't provide you with any quotes but it's ...
Hilarious :laugh: :roll:

Author:  Herenya [ November 13th, 2005, 5:44 am ]
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Well, I'm glad of that, because it proves the translation must be good! :)

The following morning the weather was so foul it hardly deserved a name, and Dirk decided to call it Stanley instead.

:p

Author:  daughterofkings [ November 13th, 2005, 11:58 am ]
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I like the rain god in the Hitch hikers books. But i can't remember which one, i think it was So long and thanks for all the fish...but that part always makes me laugh

And I <3 Zem from Life, the Universe and Everything. Flollop

Author:  Antigone [ November 13th, 2005, 1:44 pm ]
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Herenya wrote:
Well, I'm glad of that, because it proves the translation must be good! :)

Yeah, it is very good, and therefore makes an improvement in Slovenian translating.
Herenya wrote:
The following morning the weather was so foul it hardly deserved a name, and Dirk decided to call it Stanley instead.
:p


:laugh: Dirk Gently?

Author:  Herenya [ November 13th, 2005, 11:42 pm ]
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Salmon of Doubt. Near the end. :p

Author:  vikingmaiden [ November 18th, 2005, 10:26 pm ]
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daughterofkings wrote:
And I <3 Zem from Life, the Universe and Everything. Flollop


Haha! Flolloped floopily! That's a great part.

I'm listening to the book (Life, the Universe, and Everything) on tape and I'm at the part where Arthur is talking with the guy that he unwittingly kills every time he's reincarnated--that bit is so funny. The recording I have is read by Douglas Adams. It's really interesting to hear the author read his own work.

Author:  Herenya [ November 18th, 2005, 11:26 pm ]
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*agrees with vikingmaiden* I haven't heard that one read aloud, but I've heard the first two ... and they're so much more amusing read aloud! :)

Author:  Antigone [ November 19th, 2005, 2:44 am ]
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Herenya wrote:
Salmon of Doubt. Near the end. :p


Thanx, I'm not there yet. (and Holy God, I'm reading it for the third week!)

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