I didn't really know where to put this so i'll just put it here i was wondering if you would read this diary i had to write for english and tell me how it sounds thanx

Dear Diary, September 20th 1601

It's just after dawn and time for me to get up I have to be very quiet, so as not to wake up my

mother and siblings I have a very large family which includes my mother Isabel my father Tobias

my two sisters Alice and Clarence (She is going to be married soon) and my two twin brothers

Edmund and Philip. As I get up I look around our little two room cottage. It's not much but its

home the roof is made of straw and the floor is dirt but there is so much love that it doesn't matter.

We have fallen upon hard times recently my mother is ill and my father works till he can't work

anymore. I have taken up working at the Wallingford household as a stable boy I do not earn

much only about 3 pounds a year but it helps with some of the costs of food and other stuff so I

continue to do it. My father as usual has already left and has stoked the fire before he left so that we

would be warm as we slept. When I wake up at night I can often see him bent over the fire keeping

it going by adding more wood, or warming up some water and honey for my mother to drink to

help ease the ach in her through and bones and the cough. The cough is what worries me the most it

sounds so bad and she has lost so much weight. My mother was brought up a catholic and now days

we are not supposed to be catholic we are supposed to be protestant and attend those kinds of

churches but mother always taught us the catholic ways in the safety of our cottage. No one in our

family can read so we have no books not even the bible. But mother says we don’t need to be able to

read as long as we believe in God. When I first get up I put on some of my old cloths that my

mother made for me so that I can go and gather some firewood to leave by the wood burning stove.

When I come back inside my mother is awake and coughing so I warm her up some water and

honey just like my father. Then I grab some bread and water for breakfast, we get served lunch at

the house around midday and it is the best meal of the day. After I have eaten I go and get some

water to wash off my face and hands. Then I get my good clothes that the lord and lady

Wallingford gave me. I am very proud of them and try to keep them as clean as possible. First I

pull on the beige long legged breaches and tucked them into my black boots. Next I put on the white

shirt that goes underneath the green tunic. My tunic is green which is the livery colour of the

household on the top right hand side; just above the breast is the Walligford family crest. A white

horse rearing outlined in gold thread. My mother always comments how handsome I look in my

work clothes and I flush with pride. As I walk out the door my mother calls goodbye. I am so very

excited today because my dad said I may go to see a play today in the globe theatre, but I must first

get permission from the lord and lady. I do hope they let me go. As I walk to the house I

see my friend Thomas who lives two doors down. He is helping his father chop firewood and I stop

briefly to say hello. Then I continue on my way, upon arriving at the Wallingford house (which

looks more like a small palace to me) I pass the head serving man Alfred. He is a very

Nice gentleman and always says hello to me. Then I continue to the stables to start my duties. First

I water and Feed the horses, and then I turn them out into the fields and muck out their stalls and

sweep the floors. My best friend Stephan also works at the stables and as we work we tell each other

stories to help pass the time. A little later Stephan and I went to bring in the horses and to groom

them to get rid of the mud and any burrs they may have picked up. It was going really good until I

stepped in a pile of horse pooh. Then I had to go rinse off my boots. Finally it is lunch time we go to

the kitchen to get some food. Today we have bread cheese and some very heavily watered wine. I am

very lucky that I work for the Wallington household they believe a well feed happy servant does

batter work than an ill fed happy servant but not all masters feel this way. After dinner I get tidied

up and ask to speak with the lord and lady. They told me that I was allowed to take the afternoon

off and go see the play. I am so excited. I am went and saw a Twelfth Night. It cost me a penny to

get in and I had to stand to watch it. The group of people that had to stand were very rowdy and

impolite. They would scream and shout and jeer at other people. We weren’t under a roof only the

wealthy people can pay enough to get have the luxury of sitting and being under a roof. The show

was really good the actors were amazing even though they were all males, even the women and girls

were played by men and boys. I wish I could be an actor but I love my work especially since it

involves horses. There weren’t many props or costumes so we had to use our imagination which was

no problem for me because my mom always said I had an over active imagination. The only thing

that didn’t go as planned was we had a little late afternoon shower it only lasted for a little while but

it was enough for all of us standing to get wet because we had no roof all of the people sitting didn’t

get wet which isn’t fair. After the play I returned home and helped gather some firewood for the

stove so that my sister Clemence can make supper Alice who is only four is trying to help. Edmund

and Phillip are out in the vegetable garden picking a cabbage to put in our stew. Supper tonight

wasn’t much we had cabbage stew with a bit of bread and some water from the well. Am still

hungry but it will do me no good to complain. That is just the life I was dealt and I’ve got to make

the best of it my mother always says .As usual father did not get home until late the first thing he

did as he walked in the door was to go and check on mother. (he’s always really tired when he gets

home from work but he always checks on mom). After he checked on her and made sure she didn’t

need anything he got some cabbage soup for himself with some bread. Shortly after Father got

home Alice went to bed soon followed by the twins Edmund and Philip. We never get to see much

of our father especially lately since he’s been working later and harder than ever. Clemence is 12 she

gets to stay up the latest. Well it’s time for me to go to bed now. I’ve go another long and hard day

tomorrow.

Ambrose Smitheson

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~ How many hands can you handle? ~

well done but i noticed two errors
a) There weren’t many props or costumes so we had to use our imagination which was no problem for me because my mom always said I had an over active imagination.
b) I think your teacher would appreciate comma's even if your trying to write in period form then you should use comma's. You said your charecter can't read, so he can't write, and therefore you might as well use correct puncuation as its not ging to make a diffrence to the peice, only improve the way it flows.

Apart from that i think its written well, theres lots of good description, and your historical facts are accurate, you get acrose the simplicity of the boy and the world he lived in, however once again i emphisis my point about commas, they will really help the peice.
Well done, if you found any of my comments rude or you do not agree with them please do tell me.

Anduril

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Made by Lembas

Thank you so much for revieing it I know for a fact that I use run on sentences i'm horrible with grammer/spelling i would die if i didn'e have a computer with spell check

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~ How many hands can you handle? ~

Where are you from, Gone Riding? I'm from the Netherlands so I didn't notice the flaws

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I live in Canada. Do you write really different then or is it just the spelling like color (american) and colour?

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~ How many hands can you handle? ~

Dutch is my native language, it goes like this:

Heel vervelend dat jullie dit niet kunnen lezen, maar het maakt ook eigenlijk niets uit wat ik typ in dat geval... het typt wel weer even lekker snel moet ik zeggen. Weer een excuus om een heel verhaal op te gaan hangen natuurlijk, voor je het weet ben je een hele bladzijde verder en dat mag hier natuurlijk niet van de moddies, dus zal ik er maar mee stoppen nu het nog kan.

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thta's so cool don't know what it said but its awsome. the only other language in know is a bit of french ( i stopped taking it though casue i was rwally bad at it) and a bit of gealic cause most of my family lives in Ireland.

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~ How many hands can you handle? ~

Oh French is really hard to learn. I speak it, but not fluent. And since the French people are too stiff to adjust to us poor foreigners, that's not enough to have a decent conversation.

I can also teach you some Dutch words that are much like English words, so you can say you also speak Dutch

Hello: Hallo (pronounce as you think it should be..)

Good: Goed (pronounce like good, but then clear your throat at the G. Like Gollum would say it )

Telephone: Telefoon (just say telephone, but the first e like an English a)

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Konus tar to? (sp?)

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Made by Lembas

What is that?

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its gallic, i want to see if gone rideing replies.

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Made by Lembas

sry i'm not realy sure what that is i'm not very good at it and can only say a couple words that i usae often enough when i visit most of the iem i speak english and so do my cousins. sry if i gave the wrong impresion. Gaelic is just as hard as French.

Di duit

mo ainm is Meaghan

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~ How many hands can you handle? ~