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Gollum and Smeagol's Diary
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Author:  ~Goldleaf~ [ September 9th, 2008, 12:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Gollum and Smeagol's Diary
Dear Our Diary,
It is Gollum writing! Smelly, stupid Smeagol can't write with Gollum. He's useless, idiotic, stupid, preciousss, yes, preciousssss, stupid! I tell him to go and catch fish, otherwise we'll go without all evening. So he goes off and then comes back telling me he can't catch the slippery fish! He's useless, yes he is! Stupid, smelly Smeagol. So poor Gollum has to go and catch the fish for our supper.

Smeagol did try, yes he did precious! But the fishes were slippery and tricksy, so Smeagol had to bash them on a rock. You can't blame poor Smeagol, he tries his best, he does.

Shut up! It's me who looks after us. We survived because of me! And what do you do? Be stupid! Be nice to stupid, fat hobbits when we could easily just stab their eyeses out.

Don't be mean to me! We tries, we tries... Smeagol does his best to help, yes he does, preciousss.

Please! I'm the one who does everything. I slaves all day to get us a nice supper, and you does nothing. Gollum does everything, I am working my fingers to the bone.

Be nice to poor Smeagol!

Be nice to poor Smeagol? My precious! What abouts poor Gollum, eh? Pfffffffff!

Love from,
Gollum
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And Smeagol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Author:  Nerissa [ March 24th, 2009, 11:07 am ]
Post subject: 
I think we need another entry on here sometime, Goldy. :lol: Gollum/Smeagol is just too amusing. :P
Author:  smeagollum [ March 24th, 2009, 11:38 am ]
Post subject: 
That is so funny! XD
Author:  ~Goldleaf~ [ March 24th, 2009, 1:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
*Bows* Thank you, you two! Another entry it is...

~~~

Dear Our Diary,

It's been a while since we last wrote. We've been busy following about the two fat hobbits. Helping them find the hotel called the Crack of Doom. Apparently, they wants to find an expensive room for the precious!

We wasn't treated very nice once when we went there, precious, no we wasn't. Our hotel room was more of a... what was it, precious?

Dungeon. Anyways, we're going with the hobbits.

The fat one says he might buy us chips. We're being very nice to them, precious.

FOOL!
We should just stabs their eyes out, precious. Simpler that way. Then we takes the precious back home. Whys we needs to go all the way to Mordor to find a HOTEL, we doesn't know.

Apparently the rooms are very warm, precious.

SHUT UP!

Love, Gollum
xxxxxxxxxxxx(gollum, gollum)

and smeagolxxxx
Author:  Esteleth [ March 24th, 2009, 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
They think it's a hotel! :lol: Genius!
Author:  Nienna Anárion [ March 24th, 2009, 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, that's so funny. Write more soon, please.
Author:  [ m e m ] [ March 24th, 2009, 10:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Too funny! Write more! (Presssssure!)
Author:  Lhunardaien [ March 25th, 2009, 5:42 am ]
Post subject: 
That's so funny! Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next entry :)
Author:  ~Goldleaf~ [ March 25th, 2009, 10:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Hehe! Thanks for the kind replies, guys :) Nice to know my work is appreciated :lol:

~~~

Dear Our Diary,

We hates them. We hates the hobbits. Kill them, preciousss! Yesss, kill them both, and then we takes the preciousss, and WE be the master now! No running about to nasstyy hotels, where the fees for one night will probably be more than the nasty hobbitses can pay. Will they run outs on the bill now, precious? Perhaps they'll do that? They're trickssy!

The hobbitses are only trying to find the precious a nice place to stay. Apparently, the Crack of Doom hotel has four stars!

Four stars! Pffff! My precious! Since when did four stars mark achievement in the hospitality and culinary field! Never, my precious, never! Why doesn't we just take the precious?

The fat hobbit would hurt usss, hurt us preciousss!

Why doesn't we hurt HIM? HA! Everything HURTS. Our poor feet are aching away, and ours hands, our HANDS, preciousss! They're burnsing all day because we has to run around after master and his friend.
Anyway, who says it's such a nice hotel? Hmm? Who says? Last time we went there, the hotel manager wasn't so much running an efficient business as running a circus of DOOM! In what other hotel has we ever been chained to a rack?

It wasn't a nice cushy bed?

No, precious. If the hobbitses think we're going to spend OUR money on this ridiculous notion, they're SADLY MISTAKEN, my precious.
...What's that? Oh it's the fat hobbit shouting again.

I think we must go, precious.

Pffff! We ought to stab OUT HIS EYESES.
Love, Gollumxxxxxx

and smeagolxxxxx
Author:  Nienna of Rohan [ April 18th, 2009, 12:00 am ]
Post subject: 
That. Was. Hilarious.

It's amazing! Write more please!
Author:  SilverRose [ April 18th, 2009, 2:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Goldie, I bow to your awesomeness. :notworthy:

"Dear Our Diary" :lol:
Author:  ~Goldleaf~ [ April 18th, 2009, 2:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you, Nia and Silvery! :-D

~~~

Dear Our Diary,

The fat one is getting on our nerves, precious. What should we do to him, precious, my love? Gouge out his eyeses? Take out his eyeses, and make HIM lead the way to nasty hotel!

Fat one told us he'd bake Slinker cake for his next meal. What did he mean by that? Then fat hobbit said he'd make Stinker gravy for second course. Do you suppose it's tasty, precious?

Probably not, precious. All nasstyy fat hobbit's foodses are HORRIBLE and they CHOKESES us, my precious!

Yesss, nasstyyy choking. Not nice, precious.

And when will we reach this hotel, anyways? I wonders if that nasstyyy hotel manager will be there again... He didn't smell very nice, precious.

No, not very nice. But when we pointed it outs to him he said we didn't exactly smell like a basket of roses.

CHEEK! Basket of roses? My precious!

Anyway, doesn't we have to go now? We doesn't want nasty hobbit to shout at us.

Oh, you're always grovelling to them, isn't you? I'll tell you again what we should does... first, take pointy hobbit sword, and aim for the eyes, and...
Oh, we really does have to go. Will write more soon. Love, Gollumxxx

and smeagolxxx
Author:  Llew [ April 18th, 2009, 4:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Brilliant. :lol:
Author:  Nienna Anárion [ April 21st, 2009, 10:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, very funny. :)
Author:  Nienna of Rohan [ April 21st, 2009, 10:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
You're welcome!
Author:  ~Goldleaf~ [ April 23rd, 2009, 12:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hehe, it's nice to have fans of my mad Gollum and Smeagol ramblings :lol:

~~~

Dear Our Diary,

We're sick of trailing around after nasstyy hobbits. They has our preciouss, and we have to run abouts after them. What about OUR plans, hmm, preciouss, my love? What abouts the planss WE had?

What were our plans, preciouss?

Trail about after hobbitss, hoping to steal the precious.

Isn't that what we're doing now, preciouss?

Well...
.....
SHUT UP!

Yes preciouss!! Don't hurt Smeagol, poor, poor, poor, poor Smeagol! He grovels and tries his best, yes he does, he does precious! AIIEEEEEEEERRRARUUUUAAARRRRRR!

Oh shut up precious.

Yes precious.

What if... we led the hobbitses... to the nasstyy tour guide of the tunnel?

We doesn't want to see her again. She promised she wouldn't eat us because we smells like garbage, yes we does precious.

FOOL! She could kill the hobbitses for us and we takes back the preciouss. No hobbitses, no nasstyy hotel to hunt for. No nasstyy hotel manager that chainses us in dungeons.

It sounds very risky, precious.

Well I'M the one in charge, precious, and doesn't you want the preciouss back, my love?

Yes, I doesss. For meeee!

For us.

Yes, precious.

We has to go now but we shall write more about this.
Love Gollumxxxxxx

and smeagolxxxxxxxxxxxx
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