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Post subject: "Welcomed Death" (a short poem)  Posted: January 23rd, 2006, 2:42 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Pleas inform me of what you think of this poem. Thanks!
[font=Arial, sans-serif]Welcome Death[/font]
"O death, where is thy sting?"
"O grave, where is thy victory?"
Death's cold hand has passed me by,
And hope has come to this entity.
Death, refrain your cold hand,
Night, hold your cries of death.
Grave, hold your lingered souls,
Life, let forth your final breath.
In the grave forevermore?
Do not fear, stand, be brave.
Welcome death with open arms,
Christ has overcome the grave!
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Post subject: Posted: January 24th, 2006, 5:47 pm |
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neat. The only thing I have to say is that it doesn't really flow. Other then that it was great
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Post subject: Posted: January 24th, 2006, 6:11 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Yeah. I have to agree with you. It doesn't flow that well. Thanks for the comment and advice!
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Post subject: Posted: January 30th, 2006, 1:17 am |
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Joined: 13 December 2005
Posts: 10261
Location: Staring hard into the past
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It really depends on the way you say it. I could make it flow without chaning it at all.
_________________
Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!
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Post subject: Posted: January 31st, 2006, 12:14 pm |
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Joined: 20 January 2006
Posts: 1429
Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Mhm, it's the amount of syllables in the lines, they're unequal when you speak it...although I agree with Tar-, it depends completely on how you say it.
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"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
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Post subject: Posted: February 1st, 2006, 1:40 am |
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Joined: 13 December 2005
Posts: 10261
Location: Staring hard into the past
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Yeah, that's what I meant, I'm glad you got it, cause I'm not sure if I got it completely.
_________________
Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!
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Post subject: Posted: February 1st, 2006, 3:07 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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lol well thanks for the imput.
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Post subject: Posted: February 2nd, 2006, 2:46 am |
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Joined: 13 December 2005
Posts: 10261
Location: Staring hard into the past
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You're welcome.
_________________
Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!
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