just something I wrote and thought I would post to see what you guys think. Sorry if the spelling is not to great. lol
In an instant my mind flashed to a start, the cold air flowing through my lungs. "Could it be?" I asked with a knowing sense of false hope. Celebrations, good times alone, family, faces, all flashed in my mind in there places. I've never really liked flowers, but it seems roas pettlered always comes to mind. Or is it the color of blood and I am blind? I walked on in my fabricated land, holding your hand. On the surface I shone like silver, but on the inside... Blood red and blackness with secrets hid deep.
My blankets lay on the wood floor of my small room. The sun broke through the window with a bright gloom. The crack in the window I left last night filtered in the iced air from the crystal morning as I rolled over in bed. Slowly I reached for my blankets to cover my head. They weren't there. For the first time that morning I then opened my eyes, searching the room I located my silver blanket on the floor, it's corners flipped over, revealing the "roas red" underneath.
A sharp and short lived recoil paced up my leg as my bare foot touched the seemingly frozen floor. I quickly grabbed my blankets and wrapped it around me to block out the cold air. I shut the window, and then with a sigh I brushed back my hair. Only a lingering trace of desire remained of my frame, another fruitless venture it would seem. But life would never cease to remind me of what I almost had. Something I've always wanted so bad.
Even the morning paper brought it to mind with it's silver plated roas petals displayed on the front page. I could see now my dream set the stage. So many times and so many tears I have denied up to date. My raw hands showing blood red but I portray a silver plate. So many rivers and lakes flow inside of me for you. But are you even true? I've taken so many bullets for you.
I threw the paper in the fire, and turned it on high. Inside a piece of me wanted to die. I reached for the chair to my right, but my knees collapsed before I could drag my breaking body to it to sit. I fell hard, knees meeting the wood floor with force as my sorrow ran it's uaull course. The tears came, but none fell. Every blood red tear was stopped by my silver shell.
After a few hours of motionless solitude I realized it was to late to go to work so I called in "sick." The rest of the day I sat alone, motionless, and afraid. Afraid of what might happen, what could happen, what was happening, what could not happen, and what might not happen. Fear... such paralyzing fear mixed with my sorrows to form a red river inside of me.
The next thing I knew it was 12 midnight and I was dragging myself to bed and pulling my blanket tight. Inside, to fet out, red tear drops began to fight. Suddenly, as if God's hand touched me, I burst ito tears, for the first time in years. The night hours past slowly, each second accompanied by pair of red tear drops . By morning light I wiped away the last tear that could give testimony to my sleepless night. Then, looking down at my blanket I noticed it's one silver side was now stained a deep blood red from my tears. In contrast, to the other side, I could now tell the difference between roas red and blood red.
The next day I didn't move out of my bed. I laid there praying all day, and most of the next night. Raying, "Father take my pain, lead my way, get me through another day. Hold my hand, help my mind to understand. I can't make it without you. And I don't want to make it without the other me." Most of all I prayed for you, and for God to take me from this red flood. "Father I'm Your's. Take my roas pettle red and silver plated blood."
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Keep it up!!
