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Author: | pip&leggyluvr [ October 8th, 2006, 8:36 pm ] |
Post subject: | Random |
Just a totally compeltely random little snippet that popped into my mind....it's not a full poem, it's not a very good poem....just some feeling that had to be put down on paper, so I wouldn't go mad. Not sure y i'm even posting it.....usually when i do this i don't post it...*shrugs* anyways, here it is.... Yet deep down, I still loved him. Deep down, I still hoped; still dreamed, that he secretly loved me. But alas, fate crept in, and took over. For one day, he told me; For one day, he was asked, and he said no. My heart was crushed. My head began to spin. I felt like I would die. Heartbroken, he left me, not knowing what it was that he had done. But now, I am over him. I have said it before. Again, and again, I've tried to convince those around me; tried to convince myself, that I loved him no more. But deep down, I still longed for him. Deep down, I still did. But now is different. That was then, but this is now. This is the present. In the past, I have loved him. Perhaps even in the present, I still love him. Yet one day, in the future, I know that I will love him no more. And I have hope, Once again. |
Author: | Jax Nova [ October 10th, 2006, 3:57 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
It's fine in my opinion. It went together very well. ![]() |
Author: | pip&leggyluvr [ October 10th, 2006, 10:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
thx. ![]() ![]() |
Author: | ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ October 10th, 2006, 11:31 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
I like it. ![]() ![]() |
Author: | pip&leggyluvr [ October 11th, 2006, 5:09 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
thx ![]() |
Author: | Jax Nova [ October 13th, 2006, 4:45 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Well, it does kind of come in a bit abruptly but I don't think that does to much to add a negative to it. *shrugs* at least not in my opinion. lol |
Author: | ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ October 13th, 2006, 6:47 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Yes, I suppose you can tell you just got it out there really fast, but in a way it adds a bit of an effect to it. ![]() ![]() |
Author: | pip&leggyluvr [ October 13th, 2006, 8:15 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
really? u think so? thx! lol ![]() |
Author: | Jax Nova [ October 16th, 2006, 5:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
After all the more things you can do to a poem to make them unique, in my opinion, the better. It makes it different from most others. ![]() |
Author: | Ms.Gamgee [ October 16th, 2006, 6:30 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
It's great, it's unique in style, but it got it's point across, I personally liked it a lot. You wrote it very ncie I was only struck when you said "i am over him" that seems to leen a little more to the vernacular than the rest of it did. |
Author: | pip&leggyluvr [ October 17th, 2006, 4:59 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
yes....it does, but....it's a very confused & mixed feeling...that's y i put tht..b/c like, i think i'm over him, but then i'm not sure....but i know that one day, in the future, i will be, so yha...thx 4 the comments guys!! ![]() |
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