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 Post subject: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 15th, 2013, 11:40 am 
Vala
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I thought I'd share this old thing with you. I wrote it nearly two years ago, and it still needs a lot of work, but I thought I'd update it here every now and again if anyone cares about what happens and whatnot. If not, blah! :disgust: Juust kidding.

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Summary:
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

She was my mirror image. My only match. My second half to complete the set. Without her I was only a girl like everyone else, nothing about me stood out from the rest. Ripping the two puzzle pieces apart from each other that has stuck together since you first opened the box is cruel. It’s unforgivable. She was me and I was her.

How do you move on from losing a twin?

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Rest in peace Carrie Fisher, the legend we didn't deserve.


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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 15th, 2013, 7:07 pm 
Elf
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Awesome writing! It definitely grabbed my attention!

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 15th, 2013, 7:20 pm 
Vala
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Merci, then have the prologue:

Note: This is purposely written in short chapters and without extreme details, etc. It's a shortstory and I was trying something new with kind of playing with keeping it simple, yet deep at the same time. Just fyi.


ONE

It was autumn, and Saturday. The sun was just beginning to kiss the damp pavement below my balcony when the doorbell rang. Some part of me should’ve known it was bad news, and that sixth sense within me should’ve kicked off, but it didn’t. Not even when her blue eyes met mine did I sense that something was wrong, I was too happy to see her. Her hair hung neatly around her shoulders and she had an everlasting smile on her lips. Features that matched mine perfectly. Features that would from that moment on haunt me whenever I looked in the mirror, though I didn’t know it yet.

“I’ve got some bad news Mrlee,” she told me, using my childish old nickname instead of my actual name, Mary Lee. Her voice didn’t betray the horridness of the news, and neither did her movements as she walked past me into my one bedroom apartment.

And that was it, how it all started. How the race against time started, for us to finish her bucket list which was written on a wrinkled piece of paper, a piece of paper which she’d carried with her since she wrote it during one of our nights up when we were nothing but two kids thinking we’d live forever. I never wrote one, because I wasn’t the funny, spontaneous, adventurous twin; I was the careful twin. The lonely twin.

“We should have about six weeks to finish the list, and there’s only ten things left on it so we should be okay.”

We should be okay?

My whole world had fallen apart the minute my second half told me she was dying. My heart had broken when it dawned on me that she wouldn’t be there for the rest of my life, and that we’d never grow old together like we’d always promised each other. My lungs seemed to crash when I realized that I’d be just a single, just one of a kind, not part of a set or perfectly matched with anyone.

And yet, though I wanted to scream and cry and tell her that there was no way for her to leave me, that it wasn’t fair or okay, I still managed a smile before my voice identical to hers rang out.

“Of course Mands, we’ll finish it for sure.”

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 15th, 2013, 7:32 pm 
Elf
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This is so sad but soooo good! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 19th, 2013, 9:06 pm 
Vala
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TWO

“I want to go nude swimming in a public fountain.”

The first thing on Mandy’s list was crazy. It made me shake my head and throw my hands up, emphasizing the insanity of her wish.

“We can’t do that,” I stated, trying yet again to grab the crumpled piece of paper from her. I had been with her when she wrote it, but somehow everything she’d dreamed of doing had fluttered away from my memory.

“Yeah, Mrlee, we can.” She was smiling again, her hands pulling the paper further away from me, holding it above her head as if that would help. We were identical, meaning we were also the same height. But she got her will; I wouldn’t take it from her if she really didn’t want me to see. “Listen, I know it’s cruel to ask this from you, because there will be repercussions and I’m the only one who has an out, but this is what I want to do. It’s one of my wishes. Come on, let’s just go there and see how we feel about it?”

I wanted to say no, but how do you say no to someone who is dying?

*

The water sprayed us where we stood, next to the concrete frame sealing the liquid from spilling out on the rest of the city. It was sunny, but it was chilly, and the last thing I wanted to do was to take my clothes off. Mandy had her hand squeezing mine, a smile tugging at her lips and I knew her well enough to know what that meant.

“We’re doing this.” It wasn’t a question, because I knew she’d made up her mind and that there was no room for arguments. There never was when she set her mind on something, which was why I adored her so much.

“Yep.”

Strangers passed us by, but no one really threw us a second glance. We were twins and almost always caught people’s attention, but standing in the middle of London we didn’t stand out compared to the architecture or the fragrant people roaming the streets. It felt like it was a first glance at how my life would be without her; I would be someone who people just walked by without being noticed. I’d be dull. I’d be alone. Tears stung my eyes as I freed my hand from hers and ran it through my hair.

Then I smiled, nudged her in the side, and pulled my sweater off.

*

As we ran together through the beautifully decorated fountain in Trafalgar Square, I felt so much more alive than I ever had before. Her voice shrilled with laughter and I couldn’t keep mine from spilling from my lips either. People hadn’t been looking at us before, but now they were. It was true we would have to face consequences for our actions, but they weren’t important. The only importance lay in the look of freedom on my twins face, and the happiness that danced with us as we jumped up and down with water splashing all around us. The only thing that mattered was that she’d wanted this, and damn right I was going to give her every last thing she wanted before it was time for us to say goodbye.

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 19th, 2013, 9:39 pm 
Elf
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Oh, man, this is AMAZING! Where do you come up with such good ideas for stories as this?

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 19th, 2013, 11:07 pm 
Istari
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Waaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Sooooooooo sad, but good!!!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 25th, 2013, 6:07 pm 
Vala
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THREE

Her tired eyes looked at me through the glittering of her eyelashes and I felt my heart sinking. We’d come so far, and now we couldn’t go back. Together we stumbled, but didn’t fall, and made our way to the blanket. The wind was warm and the stars made her skin look like it was glimmering. I realized it could be the last time I saw her like this. Tears started burning; I helped her to lie down and watched her hair fan out underneath her.

“Listen, Mrlee,” she mumbled and her eyes fluttered close as I settled next to her. “Can you hear the peace of the night and the crickets playing for us?”

I could hear the crickets, but not the peace. Instead I heard the trembling of her voice, the weakness of her breath and the way my heart wept silently in my chest. We’d crossed off three things on her list in just over a week. Swimming in the fountain, having an all-night horror marathon and dressing identical then going to a bar and freak people out by constantly talking at the same time and finishing each other’s sentences. It had been fun, but it had worn her body down, and now, crossing off item number four, she was tired. Very tired.

“You know,” she said, turning on her side and tucking a hand under her head, “I’m really sorry for putting you through this.”

I tried to protest, my mouth opened several times, but my throat had closed itself off.

“I’m sorry I can’t see you grow old, Mrlee,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry that you’re the one who has to go,” I whispered back, feeling my body shake as a chilly wind caused the trees around us to sway.

We’d never visited that hill before, but we’d had one like it back at home. Of course that was long before I left America behind and came to England, and there was no way for us to get there in time. Instead we’d chosen this quiet spot, hidden behind trees but with a perfect view of the stars above and the city below to substitute for our childhood hideaway.

“I promise that after I’ve bribed my way into heaven, I’m going to kick God’s ass on your wedding day so that he gives my spirit a free pass to visit you.”

She smiled and I couldn’t help but join her. I felt happy, because she seemed happy through the tears. Yet I felt sad, because I knew time was slipping through our fingers with every heart-beat. She didn’t have six weeks, it was easy to see. Who knew if she’d even have tomorrow?

“I promise not to serve lobster at my wedding, because I know you hate it.”

I’d have given anything to have her with me for just a little longer.

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 25th, 2013, 7:19 pm 
Ringwraith
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:'( Woah. This is amazing...

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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: April 26th, 2013, 8:10 pm 
Ringwraith
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D: It's so sad!
You're a really good writer, especially with showing emotion. You should definitely post more.


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 Post subject: Re: Without You [Original shortstory - in progress]
PostPosted: May 4th, 2013, 10:04 am 
Vala
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FOUR

We didn’t get six weeks. We got three. Her last night I held her hand, squeezing it tightly, holding it to my chest. I’d managed to convince her to go to the hospital, not to spend the last moments of her life at home in pain, trying to explain to her that we could fix her if only she went to the hospital. That everything would be okay. She went only to calm me down; I think she must’ve seen me unraveling. There was no fixing her, she was permanently broken and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted her in the hospital anyway. That’s where she belonged, as sick as she was. Dying.

She told me to be tough, that it’d be okay, that I had to live for her now since she couldn’t. Tugging at my hands as hard as she could, she stressed how important it was that I didn’t give up. She insisted that I was strong, that I could do it. I didn’t cry, even though she did. I couldn’t find it in my heart to let her see how much I was hurting; though I’m sure she could feel it.

When it finally came, her last moment, it felt as if I died with her.

Suddenly her eyes were closed, and her chest stopped moving. I don’t want to say we had a special bond, or that if I stubbed my toe she could feel it, but I’d always been able to sense her when she was near me. Suddenly she was gone. It was empty. She was just a shell, and no longer my twin. The machine she was hooked up to confirmed my deepest fear with a long hollow beep.

“Come here, sweetie,” a nurse ushered, tugging at my hand. “It’s time to go, she’s moved on.”

Moved on where? As she pulled me out of bed where I’d lay face to face with my sister for the past 24 hours, I tried to wrap my head around the new empty feeling that clawed at me. Obediently I followed her without a fight, leaving the body behind me. The body. Her body. The empty shell she’d shed once she died.

She was gone and I was still there.

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