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 Post subject: Choosing Realms
PostPosted: January 3rd, 2006, 12:11 pm 
Balrog
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Summary/Synopsis- A girl is sent to ME, and turns into an Elf, though she's not that happy she is one. But after around a thousand years in Middle Earth, she becomes accustomed to the life as an Elf. The time for her to go back soon comes, and she is sent back to her old realm. She however misses the life she had as an Elf. She is given a choice-to stay on Earth, or go back to Middle Earth. It proves to be a hard choice, and she tries to distract herself from the choice. But something will happen that will force her to make the choice sooner than she thought.

PROMO PIC

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The OC Characters

Carly Murcek/Elenanna Lothenedhel- the main character

Allison Garner/Morwen Durelen- my friend and her character

Ashley Murcek-Carly’s oldest sister

Megan Murcek- Carly’s older sister

Cody Murcek-Carly’s twin brother

Falathiel Lothenedhel- Elenanna’s triplet

Draughedhel-The evil male triplet

Danielle Braum-Carly’s best friend

Richard Erwin-Danielle’s boyfriend

Katie Belair- The girl that became a good friend to the trio

Jackie and Kirk Murcek-The parents of the Murcek siblings

Pastor Gary LaPietra- Carly’s pastor

Cheryl Ekis-Good mentor to Carly

Vorwonwe Orophonion-Elenanna’s husband

Eruaviel Elenedhel- Elenanna’s oldest twin child

Nedhudir Ohtaredhel- Elenanna’s younger twin child

Prologue

The hallway was loud with the sound of students talking and getting ready to go home from school. Laughter was heard from two lockers where two friends were chatting. The younger girl, a 15 year old junior at Faith Christian School-Carly Murcek-who was your average A student, laughed as her friend, 16 year old Danielle Braum finished telling the story.

They headed into homeroom just before the bell rang. A few minutes later, the final bell rang, and the 25 students ran out of the room, and ran down the steps, just as the elementary students ran out their floor. They ran outside and Carly waved good-bye to her friends before heading toward her sister’s car, since Megan had already gotten in it. Halfway there, Carly had to back up since another car was pulling out.

She suddenly heard the squeal of tires, and the shout of one of her teachers. “Carly, look out!” The girl turned, and seeing the car, tried to run out of the way. She heard a cry, and looked at the face of her friend, Richard Erwin as he shouted, “CARLY! NO!” She turned back, and the car rammed into the girl. She flew backwards, and when she landed on the ground, she rolled down the hill for a few minutes. The last thing she heard was shouts, and running footsteps, and her groan. She rolled over onto her back and gave into the comatose state that was calling her. Her vision blackened, and her body became limp.

Jim Ekis, the husband of Carly’s mentor, ran to the girl, and he sighed as he looked at her. Steven Lazzaro, the principal of Faith Christian School called 911 on his cell phone. The students looked over the fence to watch Mr. Ekis pick up Carly. Megan ran to them, and she placed her coat on the girl as it started to rain.

Ten minutes later the ambulance came. Two men came out with a stretcher, and they placed Carly in it. Megan got in the ambulance, and the stretcher was pushed in, and the doors closed. The siren blared in the students’ ears as it drove out of the parking lot toward the hospital

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A/N-Bad? Good? Tell me what you think, please...Constructive criticism is appreciated

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 3rd, 2006, 2:22 pm 
Mageling
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it is a good plot, but you were a bit... detached in the prologue. zoom into Carly's thoughts a little and tell it from her point of view so the reader can get to know her.

overall it's an excellent storyline!

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