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The Song of the Sea
http://arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=6813		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ March 15th, 2006, 11:19 pm ]
Post subject:  The Song of the Sea
Again, you can probably tell I'm a beginner at this.... I would appriciate any advice or anything you guys have!! :)

The sea, the sea
it calls my name,
Singing and sighing
with its majestic waves.
The sun sets into the West
sinking beneath the ocean waves,
She sets the Twilight sky ablaze
with fiery colors shimmering.
The sea gulls above are calling,
the waves below are roaring.
Can you hear the sea
calling your name?
Softly, gently
the ocean song shall caress you
Slowly, deftly
the ocean-music will posses you.
Cast your eyes on the ocean
cast your soul to the sea
Listen to the mysterious song
of the magnificent sea.
Author:  Darrell [ March 16th, 2006, 3:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Its a nice poem, I like the imagery. It doesn't flow though. Parts of it do, but other parts feel slightly disjointed. You could try getting a more consisant meter in each line to help keep it flowing.
Author:  Jax Nova [ March 16th, 2006, 3:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very nice! :) I., as well, think it has very nice imagry in it, and I like the subject.

There are some parts that could flow better but I think that could be easily solved by trying to keep an average amount of sylables in each line. (just a sugestion)

But great job and glad youdecided to post another!:)
Author:  pip&leggyluvr [ March 16th, 2006, 7:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
there are a few parts that don't really flow, & since ur talking aobut the sea, u really want it 2 flow. :-D but other than that, i LOVED it. that's one of my favorite subjects for poems &/or songs. the sea. & how it calls u & everything. it's so pretty. good job!!!
Author:  Jax Nova [ March 17th, 2006, 5:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yup twas pretty.:)
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ March 25th, 2006, 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks to all for your compliments and advice!! :)
Author:  Jax Nova [ April 8th, 2006, 8:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
*bobs head back and forth* so ya gona post another one?
Author:  Eyalan [ April 8th, 2006, 8:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love the poem! I have a lot to learn when it comes to English:
I never saw grammar/spelling like this before. Is this all correct? It's very different from what I've seen. Also very inspiring, thanks!
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ April 18th, 2006, 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
^ Well thanks!! :) I'm pretty sure its all correct, someone tell me if I'm wrong... :)

@Jax- I haven't written any poetry recently, but if I do, I'll post it. I've been working more on a book I'm trying to write. I'll let you know though!! :)
Author:  Jax Nova [ April 19th, 2006, 4:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alright! :) are you planning to get your book publishined?
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ April 20th, 2006, 12:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, I hope to get published someday, although it may not be this one right now. I have always wanted to be an author. Who knows, maybe someday we'll be buying eachother's books, since I know that you have considered getting published too. :)
Author:  Jax Nova [ April 20th, 2006, 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah. :) Same here, have always wanted to be anAuthor for a LONG time! :) Just let me know when you get a book published:) I will be there to buy it.
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ April 20th, 2006, 7:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks. And of course, the same goes for you. :)
Author:  Jax Nova [ April 20th, 2006, 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
:) alright then.


Just trying to find what publisher to send it ot... :blink: who knew it ould be so complicated!
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ April 20th, 2006, 7:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, I know!! I haven't really looked into it too deeply or anything, but it sounds like a really complicated process. Oh, wait- I just remembered reading about this recommended book if you want to get something published.... I'll try to look up the title. It's something along the lines of "Book publishing for Dummies" and tells you all the steps involved and everything... Hmm. I'll let you know if I find it.
Author:  ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ April 20th, 2006, 7:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry to double post- found it. It's The Jeff Herman Guide to Agents, Editors, and Publishers I have no idea what is included in it or if it will be of any help at all, but I've just read that it is a good book to get if you're trying to get a book published.
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