I am writing up a Hobbit screenplay (just for fun, it's not good enough to actually use it!). I'll be posting it one scene at a time (probably one scene every two weeks or so), and any comments or suggestions would be welcome.
OK, here goes!....
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Scene 1: Bilbo Baggins
Older Bilbo [voiced by Ian Holm] (V.O.): In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a dirty wet hole, or a dry sandy hole, but a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
The door of Bag End opens, and Bilbo comes out and sits down on his porch and starts smoking his pipe. Gandalf approaches.
Bilbo: Good morning!
Gandalf [with a twinkle in his eye]: What do you mean by that? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean it is good whether I like it or not; or that you feel good this morning, or that it is a morning to be good on?
Bilbo: [Thinks for a moment] All of them at once, I suppose. [They both laugh] I'm sorry sir, but I don't think I know your name.
Gandalf: Yes, you know my name, Bilbo Baggins, though you don't remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf the Grey.
Bilbo: [In surprise and admiration] Gandalf? Not the old wandering wizard who used to make such excellent fireworks!
Gandalf: Yes. I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.
Bilbo: Well, we don't want any adventures here, thank you. [To himself] Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner. [He gets up and walks towards his door] But please come to tea sometime. Tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Goodbye! [He shuts the door]
Bilbo [Inside Bag End]: What on earth did I ask him to tea for?
[Shot of Gandalf sitting outside of Bag End, thinking]
[Flashback to a scene in Nogrod]
Gandalf: You must go secretly, Thorin. Open war is useless.
Thorin: What do you suggest we do?
Gandalf: My plan is one of stealth. You may be sure that the Dragon is waiting for the day when the Dwarves shall return to claim their own. Each night, his ears are listening for the sound of... Dwarf-feet.
Balin: You make stealth seem impossibly difficult.
Gandalf: Not impossibly difficult. Absurdly difficult would be nearer the mark. So I will suggest an absurd solution to the problem: something that the Dragon has probably never heard of, and has certainly never smelt.
Thorin [impatiently]: What is it? [Gandalf smiles]
[Scene switches back to Gandalf at Bag End]
Gandalf stands up and walks up to the door. He laughs quietly to himself, and makes a strange mark in the center of Bilbo's door with his staff. Then he turns and walks away.
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So what do you think?
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