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 Post subject: this isn't fanfic!
PostPosted: June 28th, 2006, 3:11 pm 
Maia
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i started writeing a book, NOT a fan fiction, so i don't want to place it in the fanfic section, so i'll put it here, mods? i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place.
here it is,
April first, 1770.
Lauren Jamison walked from shadow to shadow, swiftly and silently. She had snuck out of her home and into the night to meet a witch, she needed this witch to put a fix on her baby sister Alice. That girl was making her life horrible, she wanted her out of her life. She pushed a lock of bright red hair out of her face, it had fallen out when she had been running, she stared at her hand for a moment, her pale skin seemed to glow in the moon light.
‘just keep walking’ she thought to her self. ‘ she said to meet her on the other side of the river…’
She started to walked out into the open for a moment, before darting into the darkness again. She took careful steps over the old stone bridge. There on the other side was the witch, sitting on a stump of a oak tree.
“hello dear.” the witch said to Lauren.
“hello ma’am” Lauren replied to the witch.
“child, no need to talk to me in formal ways.”
“yes ma’am. I mean yes.” Lauren said, she was starting to wish she had stayed at home in her warm bed, but then she remembered that sister of her‘s. She was filled with hate for her, she remembered why this had to happen.
“now dear, what exactly do you want to happen to your sister?” the witch asked Lauren
“I just want her out of my life.” Lauren told the witch.
“I can do that for you.” the witch pulled a small leather bag from the folds of her thick skirts “in this pouch there are 3 doses of whathacha weed. It will make your sister disappear when she eats it. You will be the only one who remembers her. She will disappear as if she was never born. Wait for the perfect time to use it, if someone catches you, you will disappear.” the witch warned Lauren.
“yes, I understand.” Lauren said, she reached out, and the witch dropped the pouch into her small hand. Lauren, in her 9 year old mind really didn’t understand, she was just too prideful to say that she didn’t.
“you best get on your way home child. You don’t want to get caught do you?” the witch said to Lauren.
Lauren studied every wrinkle that time had placed in the witch’s face, wisdom and knowing beamed from each one. Lauren saw something there that she had never seen before. She turned and started on her way home. Once again darting through the shadows.

^
well there you have it! the start of my book! please! i need feed back!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: June 28th, 2006, 10:04 pm 
Moderator
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Non fanfiction is allowed in the fan fiction section (I've always thought that the title was deceptive, but I didn't come up with it. *shrugs*) it's okay, don't worry about posting it in the wrong place. I'll move it across there now. :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: June 30th, 2006, 12:48 am 
Dwarf
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I've done editing for a long time, and I'll be direct with you if you want me to be.
Good start and interesting; something I've not seen before, which is always good. Beyond that I'll nitpick if you request, but I don't want to seem mean, so I'll refrain from just putting it out ;)

Cute avatar, by the way.

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