I absolutely love the entire "Constitutional Peasants" scene.
I can quote it all, but it would take a while. "Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. What if I went round, saying I was an emperor, just cause some moistened bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

So, brave knights, if you do doubt your strength or your courage, go no further for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth!
"What a strange person!"

Aha I love Galahad's lines. "Is there anyone else up there we could talk to?" "No, now go away."

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going on a journey through my old claims

I would quote, but all the good ones have been taken.

=P

"So, what does you burn witches on?"
-MORE WITCHES!!
*slap*
--er...wood!!
"Good! and what does wood do on water?"
-it floats!
"yes! and what else floats on water"
haha..oh the possibilities.
=)

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And there was much rejoicing...yaaaaaay.

That one my friends use all the time.

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<center> all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us


Thank you for five-plus wonderful years of obsession, friendship and fun

We are the knights who say "NEE!" Awesome quote.

Look at the bones!" I just love the way that one is said. I say it over and over again. Lots of fun!

What about a wooden badger? That was a good part. I really like Monty Python. My family is having a movie night tonight (oh joy) and I would have suggested we get monty Pythin, if not for a certain Castle Anthrax part. (I have a 9 year old sister)

[spanish subtitles]
"Econtremos una bruja! Queres que marla?"
We found a witch, may we burn her?

And yes, we did say it to my spanish teacher once. She laughed so hard!

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~*~Mrs. Darcy~*~


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isn't it "matarla?"

idk

But Lady Aramel, I love that sequence too!

"Where!?"
"There!"
"Behind the rabbit?"
"No, no it IS the rabbit!"

hahahaha

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Lol, that's what it was! Or the part with the black knight? Oh man, our class was cracking up!

King of Swamp Castle: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Crowd: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

French Soldier: Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!

The Witch: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Sir Bedevere: But you are dressed as one
The Witch: *They* dressed me up like this!
Crowd: We didn't! We didn't...
The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Sir Bedevere: [lifts up her false nose] Well?
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose.
Sir Bedevere: The nose?
Peasant 1: And the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah! Burn her! Burn her!
Sir Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 3: No!
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 1: Yes!
Peasant 2: Yes!
Peasant 1: Yeah a bit.
Peasant 3: A bit!
Peasant 1, Peasant 2: A bit!
Peasant 2: a bit
Peasant 1: But she has got a wart!
Random Person in the crowd: *cough* *cough*

King of Swamp Castle: One day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King of Swamp Castle: No, not the curtains, lad, all that you can see stretched out over the valleys and the hills! That'll be your kingdom, lad.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.

my fav part
[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.

King Arthur: [about the inscription on the rock] What does it say, Brother Maynard?
Brother Maynard: It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh..."
King Arthur: What?
Brother Maynard: "The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh"
Sir Bedevere: What is that?
Brother Maynard: He must have died while carving it.
King Arthur: Oh come on!
Brother Maynard: Well, that's what it says.
King Arthur: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.
Sir Galahad: Maybe he was dictating it.
King Arthur: Oh shut up!
Sir Robin: Well does it say anything else?
Brother Maynard: No, just "Aaaaauuuugggghhh".
[knights making groaning sounds]
Sir Bedevere: Do you think he could have mean, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?
Sir Galahad: Where's that?
Sir Bedevere: France, I think.
Sir Lancelot: Isn't there a Saint "Aaaaavvvveeeesss" in Cornwall?
King Arthur: No that's Saint "Ives".
Sir Lancelot: Oh, yes. "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"!
[All knights saying, "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"]
Sir Bedevere: Whooooouuuuaaa!
Sir Lancelot: No no no, it's "Aaaaauuuugggghhhh" from the back of the throat.
Sir Bedevere: No I mean, "Whoooouuuuaaa!" as in surprise and alarm.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, you mean like, "AAAHH!"
Sir Bedevere: Yes, that's it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes

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Missing Charlie already!

Here are my favorite lines/parts from Monty Python & The Holy Grail.

Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of all Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England! Pause.
Soldier: Get away!
Arthur: I am... And this my trusty servant, Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join our court at Camelot.. I must speak with your lord and master.
Soldier: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes!
Soldier: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: ...What?
Soldier: You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together.
Arthur: (Scornfully) So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea.
Soldier: Where did you get the coconuts?
Arthur: Through ... We found them.
Soldier: Found them? In Mercea. The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Soldier: Well, this is a temperate zone.
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Soldier: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: Why not?
Soldier: I'll tell you why not ... because a swallow is about eight inches long and weighs five ounces, and you'd be lucky to find a coconut under a pound.
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk ...
Soldier: It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple matter of weight - ratios ... A five-ounce bird could not hold a a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.

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Arthur: You stupid *******. You havn't got any arms left.
Black Knight: Course I have.
Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: What! Just a flesh wound. (kicks Arthur)
Arthur: Stop that.
Black Knight: (kicking him) Had enough ... ?
Arthur: I'll have your leg. (Is kicked) Right! (The Black Knight kicks him again and Arthur chops his leg off. The Black Knight keeps his balance with difficulty.)
Black Knight: I'll do you for that.
Arthur: You'll what ... ?
Black Knight: Come Here.
Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
Arthur: You're a looney.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you!

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Arthur: Hello.
Man: 'Allo. Whoo is eet?
Arthur: I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
Man: This is the castle of of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
Arthur: Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
Man: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
Arthur: What?
Galahad: He says they've already got one!
Arthur: Are you sure he's got one?
Man: Oh yes. It's very nice (Turns to some others) I told him we already got one. (They all giggle)
Arthur: Well ... can we come up and have a look?
Man: Of course not! You are English pigs.
Arthur: Well, what are you then?
Man: I'm French. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king.
Galahad: What are you doing in England?
Man: Mind your own business.
Arthur: If you will not show us the Grail we shall storm your castle.
Man: You don't frighten us, English pig-dog! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose on you, so-called Arthur-king, you and your silly English K...kaniggets. He puts hands to his ears and blows a raspberry.
Galahad: What a strange person.
Arthur: Now look here, my good Man!
Man: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Galahad: ...Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
Man: No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Arthur: Now this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonab...
Man: Fetchez la vache!
Guard: Quoi?
Man: Fetchez la vache!
Arthur: Now that is my final offer. If you are not prepared to agree to my demands, I shall be forced to take ... Oh .....!
(A cow comes flying over the battlements, lowing aggressively. The cow lands on Galahad's page, squashing him completely.)
Robin: What a cruel thing to do.
Bedevere: (Choking back tears) It hadn't even been milked.
Arthur: Right! Knights! Forward!

Good movie. xD

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