Danny: "Maybe this whole laundromat business is just a front for something else?"
Jack: "Yeah? Like what?"
Danny: "I don't know. Drugs, diamonds, illegal ferrets..."

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THE HALLOWFEST 2010
<a href="http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20958">information here</a>

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lol
Dean:"who were you talking to?"
Sam:"uh...i was just ordering a pizza."
Dean:"Sam you do realize we're in a restaurant?"
Sam:"....yeah but i want pizza."
Dean:"...ok Weirdy McWeirdism."

Supernatural

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<img src="http://i3.tinypic.com/zio9sh.jpg">
^thanks to arwenevenstar.com.

"...You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest.Honestly,it's the honest ones you want to look out for..."

My new favorite one -

Mickey: That old lady's staring.
Jack: She's probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.
Mickey: What are you captain of, anyway? The innuendo squad?

_________________

- married fingon fingolfinion 6/4/13 -
~art credit~

....

And by the laws of the universe, she is naturally standing behind me.

- Vaarsuvius

_________________
Avatar by Mr. Saturn, from the Playground forums.

Born in a hobbits body,
Grew up with a dwarven mind,
Lived in a world of humans,
With a elfs knowledge.

^Please don't swear on the forum, even if it is censored.


"All relationships are just one big honkin' leap of faith." -Rory, Gilmore Girls

_________________
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THE HALLOWFEST 2010
<a href="http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20958">information here</a>

</center>

"Some crazy lady was going to cut your heart out and you wanted specific instructions? Perhaps you'd like it in writing! Or a diagram, maybe!"

Tristan Thorn "Stardust"

_________________
Starting October 13th: globe trotting from my kitchen. Follow along on Cook In Fifty-Two

"Ten minutes to live, and you expect me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous."
"That's a poodle."
"It's nice."
- Cap'n John and Gwen, Torchwood.

_________________

- married fingon fingolfinion 6/4/13 -
~art credit~

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain

_________________
Starting October 13th: globe trotting from my kitchen. Follow along on Cook In Fifty-Two

"Monk: Julie, write down what I'm about to say.

Julie: Is it a letter?

Monk: Sorta. It's what we adults call a living will.”
-Adrian Monk

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<center>

Wow...no one's been around this club for so long...looks like it's time for club revival! =warning: lots of quotes coming up...=

Quotes:

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

A word to the wise isn't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

The exam was a piece of cake, which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

If you try to fail--and succeed--which have you done?

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody is perfect, then why practice?

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

It goes like this. Let's see now: 'Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about.

Arthur could feel that it was one of those sorts of moments. The air seemed to stand still around them, waiting. Arthur wished that the air would go away and mind its own business.

A toast to bread, for without bread, there could be no toast.

The NRA says, 'Guns don't kill people - people kill people.' That may be true, but I think the gun helps. You're not going to kill many people by standing around shouting 'bang!'

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Drive carefully, 90% of people are accidents.

I didn't LOSE my mind, I sold it on ebay.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

If you die, I'll kill you!

You tried and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.

I'll kill you until you die!

Take my advice, I'm not using it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

he decided to live forever, or die in the attempt.

contrary to popular belief: 'damn it' is not God's last name.

"Enjoy your mandatory fun!" -matt at camp

matt: "so we've been friends since the womb."
geoff: "even though he's two years older than me..."
-at camp

"it's choral music, not brain surgery...or rocket science...or rocket...surgery...."
-chorus director at camp

This nametag makes me feel like a freakin trampoline!
-Julia at camp

They misunderestimated me! -George W. Bush

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. -Bush

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream. -Bush

Sure there have been injuries and deaths - but none of them serious.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Don’t drink and drive - you might spill your beer.

If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough.

Illiterate? Write for help.

I'm not tailgating, I'm keeping up with the pace car!

I swear to drunk, I'm not God!

A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

I only work on days that don't end with Y.

It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning.... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

it is generally agreed that 'hello' is the appropriate greeting because if you walked into a room and said 'goodbye' it would confuse a lot
of people.

Life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus?

I turned my life around 360 degrees!

There are three kinds of people in the world: people who can count and people who can't.

Statistics show every two minutes another statistic is created.

4/3 of americans don't get fractions.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

it's not an illusion. it just looks like one.

no one goes to that restaurant anymore. it's always too crowded.

You guys line up alphabetically by height.

I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

_________________

^Sig set made by me. PM for requests.

"I am he [she =P] that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death."

Quotes from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

“Wow,” said Zaphod Beeblebrox to The Heart of Gold. There wasn’t much else he could say. He said it again because he knew it would annoy the press. “Wow.” “That is really amazing,” he said. “That really truly is amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I’d like to steal it.”

Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keeping awake. Why this is frightening is an, as yet, unresolved problem.

The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. 'Make it evil,' he'd been told. 'Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with.'

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

"I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. As soon as I reach some kind of definite policy about what is my kind of music and my kind of restaurant and my kind of overdraft, people start blowing up my kind of planet and throwing me out of their kind of spaceships!"

The Book: Space, says the introduction to the guide, is big. Really big. You just won't believe how hugely, mind bogglingly big it is. And so on.

Ford: If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is.

Ford: Didn't you think it was strange I was trying to shake hands with a car? I thought cars were the dominant species. I was trying to introduce myself.

“Thank you very much,” said Mr. Prosser, who no longer knew how to play this at all, “thank you very much, yes, that’s very kind . . .” He frowned, then smiled, then tried to do both at once, failed, grasped hold of his fur hat and rolled it fitfully round the top of his head. He could only assume that he had just won.

“I thought,” he said, “that if the world was going to end we were meant to lie down or put a paper bag over our head or something.” “If you like, yes,” said Ford. “That’s what they told us in the army,” said the man. “Will that help?” asked the barman. “No,” said Ford, and gave him a friendly smile. “Excuse me,” he said, “I’ve got to go.” With a wave, he left.

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backward somersault through a hoop while whistling the “Star-Spangled Banner,” but in fact the message was this: ‘So long and thanks for all the fish.’

_________________

^Sig set made by me. PM for requests.

"I am he [she =P] that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death."

Absolutely hilarious.

Yaay, btw, Arya, for getting this going again.

_________________
Starting October 13th: globe trotting from my kitchen. Follow along on Cook In Fifty-Two

I like that one. And yay for Bushisms!

I can't BELIEVE I haven't posted Clue quotes yet.
CLUE:

Mrs. White: I didn't kill him.
Colonel Mustard: Then why are you paying the blackmailer?
Mrs. White: I don't want a scandal, do I? We had a very humiliating confrontation. He was deranged, he was...a lunatic! He actually didn't seem to like me very much; he had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
Miss Scarlet: Oh.

.
Miss Scarlet: What was he like?
Mrs. White: He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died, but he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his... you know.
Mrs. White: I had been out all evening, at the movies.
Miss Scarlet: Do you miss him?
Mrs. White: Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.
Wadsworth: But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
Mrs. White: Well, that was his job. He was an illusionist.
Wadsworth: But he never reappeared!
Mrs. White: He wasn't a very good illusionist.

Wadsworth: Indeed no, sir. I'm merely a humble butler.
Colonel Mustard: What exactly do you do?
Wadsworth: I buttle, sir.

Colonel Mustard: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?
Wadsworth: I don't know, he's on everybody elses, why shouldn't he be on mine?

Colonel Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.
Colonel Mustard: That's right!

Mrs. Peacock: Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I'm used to being a hostess, it's part of my husbands work. And it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time, to get acquainted. So I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling. I mean, I, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here. Or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself. And I'm very intrigued, and oh my this soup is delicious, isn't it?

Colonel Mustard: Why are you screaming?
Mr. Green: Because I'm frightened!
Colonel Mustard: Of what?
Mr. Green: Screaming!

Mrs. Peacock: Well, I'm sure I don't know. But if I wasn't trying to keep the conversation going, we'd all be sitting here in an embarrassed silence.
Professor Plum: Are you afraid of silence, Mrs. Peacock?
Mrs. Peacock: Yes... What? No!... Why?

Wadsworth: The key is gone!
Professor Plum: Never mind about the key, unlock the door!
Mr. Green: I CAN'T UNLOCK THE DOOR WITHOUT THE KEY!
Mr. Green: LET US IN! LET US IN!
Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlet: LET US OUT! LET US OUT!

Miss Scarlet: Why has the car stopped?
Professor Plum: It's frightened.

Mr. Green: But this is ridiculous. If he were such a patriotic American, why didn't he just report us to the authorities?
Wadsworth: He decided to put his information to good use and make a little money off of it. What could be more American than that?

Wadsworth: See? Just like the Mounties, we always get our man.
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?

Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: So your work has not changed.

Professor Plum: What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?
Mrs. Peacock: No, just death, isn't that enough?

Mrs. Peacock: Everything all right?
Colonel Mustard: Yup, two corpses, everything's fine!

Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Miss Scarlet: Oh, come on, you don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick?
Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the Study; two for the chandelier; two at the Lounge door and one for the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Uh-uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier. That's one plus two plus *one* plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus *two* plus one plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Okay, fine. One plus two plus one... Shut up! The point is, there is one bullet left in this gun and guess who's gonna get it!

Wadsworth: Three murders?
Mr. Green: Six altogether.
Wadsworth: This is getting serious.
---------
PSYCH

Shawn Spencer: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.

Shawn: Are you a fan of delicious flavor?
-------
FIREFLY

Mal: Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.

The leg is good. It'll bleed plenty and we avoid any necessary organs.
Guard: I was thinking more of a graze...
Well, you don't want it to look like you just gave up.

I've staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong, you'd best shoot me now...
[River cocks the gun she is pointing at Mal]
Or, we could talk some more.

Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!

Do you want to run this ship?
Jayne: Yes!
Well... you can't...

I'll take the shuttle in closer. Zoe, ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don't hear from me within the hour... you take this ship and you come and you rescue me.

Doctor, I'm takin' your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.

Inara: You look for a compatibility of spirit... there's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide, you try to feel that...
Mal: And then you try to feel the energy of their credit account. It has a sort of aura...
Inara: What did I say to you about barging in to my shuttle?
Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?
Inara: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was "don't."

[playing chess with Zoe] I live on the edge
[Zoe makes a better move]
I'm thinking of taking up a new position, maybe off the edge.

Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.
[lightly stabs Atherton with the sword]
Guess I'm just a good man.
[stabs him again]
Well, I'm all right.

This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.
----
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl 'cause... I don't think that's ever getting old.

Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume that I'm an evil lecherous hump.
Zoe: Nobody's saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

I don't know. I'm starting to like this poetry idea now. "Here lies my beloved Zoë, my autumn flower, somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross."

[playing with toy dinosaurs] Everything looks good from here.
Yes... Yes... This is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land and we will call it... This Land.
I think we should call it your grave!
Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Ha, ha, ha! Mine is an evil laugh. Now die!

That's right, of course. 'Cause they wouldn't arrest me if we got boarded. I'm just the pilot. I could always say that I was flying the ship by accident.
-----
Jayne: Can't get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job. Ten percent of nothin' is, let me do the math here... nothin' and a nothin', carry the nothin'...

Testing. Captain, can you hear me?
Mal: I'm standing right here.
Jayne: You're comin' through good and loud.
Mal: 'Cause I'm standing right here.

You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here.

[after being told to leave grenades behind, they run into trouble] Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some *grenades*, don't you think?

Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman,

or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. But these Reavers... last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?

Zoe: First rule of battle, little one, don't ever let them know where you are.
Mal: Woo-hoo! I'm right here! I'm right here! You want some of this? Yeah, you do! Come on! Come on!
Zoe: 'Course there are other schools of thought.

Jayne: Listen, Mal, I was in Canton a few years back. I might have made me a few enemies thereabouts.
Simon: Enemies? You? No! How can it be?

Simon: No... this must be what going mad feels like.

Simon: My god. You're like a trained ape. *Without* the training.

Simon: He's really very... gentle... and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.
[River laughs]
Jubal Early: You folks are all insane.
Simon: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship. Don't look at me.

Book: I brought you some supper, but, if you'd *prefer* a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire... one has lepers.

Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

_________________
going on a journey through my old claims

Thanks.
Quotes are just awesome!

----------

Star Wars quotes:

Han: Great - I win a planet in a card game and to top it all off I'm allergic to it.

Why is it that you always get formal when you’re about to do something stupid? --Leia

Luke: Any ideas besides running for it?
Han: I think running for it sounds like a good idea.

Oh, and if you see some short guys with camouflage suits and lots of teeth, don't shoot. They're on our side. --Han

R2-D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer. --Threepio

Han: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.

_________________

^Sig set made by me. PM for requests.

"I am he [she =P] that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death."

The Swan Princess (Jean Bob is a frog, for your information)

Odette: I can only kiss the man I love, and then he...
Jean-Bob: Must make a vow of "everlasting love". I know - !
Odette: And prove it to the world!
Jean-Bob: WHAT do you think I was doing with ze flowers and ze alligators going "CHOMP CHOMP"?

Jean-Bob: Whenever I need to do something quick, I always bring a turtle.

Rogers: What else is there? What else is there? She says, "Is beauty all that matters to you?" And you say, "What else is there?"
Prince Derek: I know, it was dumb.
Rogers: You should write a book, "How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less."

Speed: Friends call me Speed.
Odette: ..and Jean-Bob.
Jean-Bob: I have no friends, only servants. And zey call me "You Highness."

_________________
going on a journey through my old claims

I must join in with a lot of House. lmao at the Monk stuff, I haven't seen that in ages.

House: I need you to sleep with Wilson.
Dr. Cuddy: Good morning.
*
House: Stand her up.
Thirteen: She doesn't do well on her feet.
House: Neither do I.
*
Luke: Is this a good hospital?
House: Depends on what you mean by "good". I like the chairs.
*
House: How old is she?
Luke: You're a doctor?
House: Own my own stethoscope. Did I ask you how old she is? I forget.
*
House: We needed blood for tests. I assume that was the only way to get it.
Luke: (blocking House) (Foreman) knocked her out!
House: Look, I've got a cane and I know how to use it.
*
House: Her leg hurts after running six miles. Who knows, it could be anything!
*
Dr. Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
*
House: Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interests of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit-chat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House. You can call me Greg. I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
House: This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board-certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who's forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying you may see me reach for this. It's Vicodin - it's mine, you can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain-management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows - maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? (everyone stares) And...who would rather wait for one of the other two guys? (everyone raises their hands) Well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind.
*
Dr. Foreman: Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is always the best.
House: And you think one is simpler than two?
Dr. Cameron: I'm pretty sure it is, yeah.
House: Baby shows up. Chase tells you that two people exchange fluids to create this being. I tell you that one stork dropped the little tyke off in a diaper. Are you going to go with the two or the one?
Dr. Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
House: I think your tie is ugly.
*
House: I am both amused and annoyed that you think I should be less stubborn than you are.
*
House: What do you know about the nun?
Dr. Chase: Which one?
House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
*
Chase: I'm Australian.
House: You put the Queen on your money. You're British.
*
House: Husband described her as being unusually irritable recently.
Dr. Cameron: And... ?
House: I didn't realize it was possible for a woman to be "unusually" irritable.
*
House: He did, however get hit by a bullet. Just mentioning...
Dr. Cameron: He was shot?
House: No, somebody threw it at him.
*
Dr. Foreman: So I'm just a regular patient now?
House: No. You get your own thermometer.
*
Dr. Chase: House! Clancy has gone missing!
House: Oh no! You take the Alpha Centauri, Foreman can look on Tattooine, and Cameron can set up an intergalactic checkpoint. Let's pray he hasn't gone into hyperdrive -- we'll never catch him.
*
Dr. Wilson: You! You! You! You were gonna let me do that.
House: You made a compelling argument.
Dr. Wilson: (pause) You sent me those flowers to me.
House: Yes, because you took her to a play. And because, actually you do wanna march right there and kiss her.
Dr. Wilson: No, I don't.
House: Yes, you do.
Dr. Wilson: (sighs) You're right... I do.
House: Seriously?
Dr. Wilson: No. You're a jerk. (starts to leave)
House: Night, Wilson.
Dr. Wilson: Night, House.
___________________________________________________________________

Awesomeness.
Now, Stargate... *cough*

SG1;
Doctor: Well, he's not human.
Jack O'Neill: Ya think?
*
Teal'c: If you once again try to harm me or one of my companions, my patience with you will expire.
*
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Cameron Mitchell: No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Ph.D.: Nice work on the metaphor.
Cameron Mitchell: Thank you.
*
Jack O'Neill: If we want to find out who's behind this, we have to do what the Asgard do.
Daniel: You mean bluff?
Jack O'Neill: Yep. We just need to do it without revealing what we know.
Daniel: Which is nothing.
Jack O'Neill: Right. But they don't know we know nothing.
*
Dr. Jackson: They'll never see it coming.
Gen. O'Neill: Which is one of the advantages of a totally insane idea.
Dr. Jackson: [innocently] Yeah, where'd I learn that from?
*
Dr. Jackson: Come on, Jack!
Gen. O'Neill: Still no, Daniel.
Dr. Jackson: But it doesn't have to be on a permanent basis!
Gen. O'Neill: I didn't let you go in the first place. What makes you think I'm gonna change my mind?
Dr. Jackson: Because.
Gen. O'Neill: Can you try to do better than that?
Dr. Jackson: Because they're going to need somebody who can translate Ancient. I'm the most qualified person left on the planet for the mission.
Gen. O'Neill: Which is exactly why you're gonna stay right here.
Dr. Jackson: [desperately] Because I'll quit!
Gen. O'Neill: Why don't you just hold your breath? You haven't done that in a while.
*
Jack and Daniel are arguing over Daniel going to Atlantis and find General Hammond in Jack's chair in his office.]

Gen. O'Neill: General.
Gen. Hammond: Jack. I let myself in hope you don't mind.
Gen. O'Neill: Absolutely Not. Welcome.
Gen. Hammond: Thank you.
Gen. O'Neill: Miss the chair?
Gen. Hammond: Actully I do.
Gen. O'Neill: Want it back?
Gen. Hammond: As a matter of fact I do. My new one just isn't the same
Gen. O'Neill: That's not exactly what I meant.
Gen. Hammond: Doctor. Jackson. Nice to see you again.
Daniel: Likewise. We miss you around here, sir. So, to what do we owe this pleasure?
Gen. Hammond: I came to see if you were intersted in joining the mission to Atlantis.
Gen. O'Neil & Daniel: You did.
Gen. Hammond: He's the most qualified person on this planet, and the mission commander needs someone who can translate ancient.
Daniel: Really?
Gen. O'Neill: With all due respect, Sir, I think you should tell the mission commander that I need Daniel right here.
Gen. Hammond: You just did.
Gen. O'Neill: I did. I did? You sir?
Gen. Hammond: Yes. Request denied. Doctor Jackson. You're with me. I'll have this chair shipped to Washington. You can requistion a new one.
Gen. O'Neill: I'll do that sir.
Gen. Hammond: We leave tomorrow. Oh, and I'll be taking Walter.
*
[A Kull warrior has taken over the Prometheus, and has Jackson tied to the captain's chair.]
Dr. Jackson: Where's everybody else?
Kull Warrior: I transported them onto the al'kesh.
Dr. Jackson: Well, you kept the wrong guy, 'cause I don't know anything about the ship.
Kull Warrior: But you are very attractive.
Dr. Jackson: [coughs in shock] What?
[The warrior moves in front of Daniel and straddles his legs]
Dr. Jackson: [trying to squirm away] Hey, you know, big guy, I'm flattered, really I am, it's just that, uh, you're not my type. And I'm more than a little disturbed that I might be yours.
*
Maj. Carter: Maybourne, you are an idiot every day of the week. Why couldn't you have taken one day off?
*
Maj. Carter: So you built that…Stargate?
Narim: Yes.
Dr. Jackson: [to O'Neill] Way smarter than we are.
Col. O'Neill: Ours is bigger.
*
Gen. Hammond: Are we absolutely sure that SG1 is—what's the word?
Dr. Frasier: Sane?
Gen. Hammond: That's the one.
*
[Sam walking down the hallway in the middle of a conversation with Urgo]
Sam: I don't have time to play, Urgo, I don't care if I'm "it"...because I have work to do. No, I am not hungry. Look, go eat pie with Colonel O'Neill or something. I'm very busy right now.
*
[Hammond and Jannet walk down the hall toward Sam]
Hammond: Major?
Sam: Hi. I was just talking to Urgo, sir.
Hammond: I see.
Sam: Oh, I wish you did.
Jannet: Alright, Urgo, Major Carter would like to...
Sam: (gestures)He's right here.
Jannet: (turns to look) Well then Urgo...Major Carter would very much like to be left alone.
Sam: As much as I appreciate it... please... Urgo, that is rude!
*
Gen. Hammond: Can we determine what threat they pose?
Col. O'Neill: Apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger.
*
Dr. Jackson: You can see me?
Nick Ballard: Yes, Daniel, I can see you.
Dr. Jackson: [exasperated] Why didn't you say something?!
Nick Ballard: You're not real, so it doesn't mean anything.
Dr. Jackson: No, no, I'm real! You're not hallucinating.
Nick Ballard: Hallucinations always say that.
*
[Dr. Jackson is invisible to everyone except Nick]
Nick Ballard: Forgive me, he is here. Daniel is here.
Dr. Jackson: Repeat what I'm saying; I'm standing right beside you.
Nick Ballard: Standing right beside me.
Col. O'Neill: [sarcastically] He's lost a few pounds.
Dr. Jackson: Jack, don't be an [insert word].
Nick Ballard: Jack, don't be an [insert word].
[O'Neill looks shocked]
Col. O'Neill: Daniel?
*
Nick Ballard: Now we must wait for the giant aliens.
Col. O'Neill: T*at just has a nice ring to it.
*
Maj. Carter: What were you thinking, breaking the nose of an upperclassman like that?
Cadet Hailey: Aim high?
*
[Carter and Hailey come through the Stargate as O'Neill greets them]
Maj. Carter: Sir, I'd like you to meet Cadet Hailey.
Col. O'Neill: Cadet. Welcome to 862. How was your trip?
Cadet Hailey: [in shock] It was a...a trip, sir.
Col. O'Neill: It always is.
*
Cadet Hailey: I've been going over Dr. Thompson's astronomical observations. Did you know this moon wasn't even formed from the original accretion disk of the planet?
Col. O'Neill: No, but I suspected.
_______________________________________________________________
Yes, I'm done now.

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