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PostPosted: May 10th, 2010, 12:05 am 
Kallisti
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ERAGON/ELDEST/GARBAGE BOOK # 3


That is all.


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PostPosted: July 2nd, 2010, 9:03 am 
Tolkien Scholar
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I have to make an obligatory mention of "The Children of Men".

It is definitely one of those rare moments where the movie is MUCH better than the novel.

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PostPosted: July 4th, 2010, 12:13 am 
Welcomator
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^ I have another one to add.

Remains of the Day. How anyone thought this would make an excellent film is beyond me.... but someone must have seen some glimmer of hope in it. I would have tossed it and not thought twice.

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PostPosted: August 7th, 2010, 7:37 pm 
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The Overton Window by Glenn Beck

Now I'm not going to talk about Mr. Beck's political ideals and merits. I'm simply going to judge him as an author. He's freakin' horrible as an author. He barely can keep his ever so keen insights as a narrator from barging into the book like a rabid dog even with his character stand-in. His descriptions of the main female lead are tasteless, creepy, and sexist. He plays every thriller and action cliche straight like a misguided flute player. The main protagonist's (read Glenn Beck) father is the evil mastermind and you simply could not make that any more obvious if you gave him a white cat to stroke, a census taker's liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti, a mafioso styled outfit, frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads, the Imperial March blaring in the distance, a Fu Manchu style mustache, and a bloody Transylvanian mustache. The political messages are about as subtle as a freight train on fire carrying anvils and hammers.

None of this comes nearly as close to the "brilliant idea" the main character has. Since the main female lead is a "terrorist" and must get on a plane that she cannot get on, he decides to disguise her as Her Loveliness, Natalie Portman. I wish I was making that up. He disguises some two-bit piece of Glenn Beck sex fantasy as the world's most beautiful goddess on Earth to fool the TSA agent. And it works....How. DARE. HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :explode:

At first I thought Glenn Beck was stupid but relatively harmless, someone to be cast aside to the sidelines with a bottle of milk while the grown-ups talked. But now, I want him immortal. Not just that, I also want him hanged, drawn, and quartered, burned alive, his skin lathered with honey for the insects, rats to crawl through his eye sockets, horses to tear his body apart piece by piece, molten lead poured down his throat, his mind being forced to witness horrors that would make Alex from A Clockwork Orange cringe, mentally regressed to a five year old and then progressed to a ninety year old repeatedly, roasted inside a brazen bull, impaled with a stake made from a moonlighter, trapped in an event horizon while locked in chains forged from a dwarf star, and finally letPor the Weeping Angel have their way with them. Anything for Her Loveliness.

I only got as far as twelve chapters which can be described as twelve insipid small chapters of no characterisation, no coherent plotline that is mangled with obvious political messages, and no *gasp* suspense. All in all, rather than pay the $22 that the book demands, I suggest you pour yourself a tall glass of vodka, drink it straight, and then bash your head against the table for fifteen minutes. You'll achieve the same mental results as reading this terrible farce.


EDIT: Having actually finished it, I will tell you that the characters continue to remain their dull bland flatness and the book ends with a sequel bait. God help me.

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 Post subject: Re: Least Favorite Books?
PostPosted: March 11th, 2013, 12:05 pm 
Ringwraith
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I just can't stand The Twilight Saga :/ .

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 Post subject: Re: Least Favorite Books?
PostPosted: March 11th, 2013, 10:27 pm 
Elf
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Atonement - Ian McEwan

If there was ever a book I want to burn, it's that one. I would get banned from here for swearing if I tried to express exactly how I feel about it.
My main issue, to put it mildly, is that McEwan is an egotistical, pretentious, jumped up piece of..... banana skin.
I read the first half of the book. The entire time I read it all I got from it was McEwan screaming at me: "Oh look at what I did there! And there! Look at all the clever things I keep doing! God, I am such a good writer. Hell, I'm the best writer on the planet. The best writer in history! YES I AM. LOOK AT IT! Bow down and worship me you little mortal. You're not even fit to lick the dirt from my shoes. "

I was so close to ripping the pages out. So close. But it was my sister's book so I didn't. If it had been mine I would have destroyed it I got so angry with it.

Others:

Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm going to ignore EL James' complete misrepresentation of BDSM and just concentrate on this one part. The male protagonist (Christian) takes the completely drunk female protagonist (Ana) back to his hotel room because driving her to her house was out of the question because she could have vomited in his car. (Honestly.)
Anyway, when Ana wakes up next to him in the morning, she can't remember a thing. Asked him if they did anything and he replied that they didn't because he likes his women awake.
Ana then goes into the bathroom and has a conversation in the mirror with her "inner goddess" (whatever the hell that is) and her conclusion is that because Christian didn't touch her when she was unconscious, it therefore means she's a completely unattractive, unlovable, disgusting excuse for a woman.
Yeah, that's right. Because he didn't rape her it means there is something wrong with her.

Just.... Just..... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Then, because it's a Twilight fan fiction, most of my other problems with it (apart from how she's written about BDSM) is the same as Twilight. Generally crappy writing and a woman who is completely unable to function unless she has a big strong rich man who stalks her as stalking is the most romantic thing a man can ever do.



Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Just utter, utter rubbish. I haven't read it since I was forced to, under much protest, at school so luckily I've forgotten most of it. Still have an overwhelming hatred of it.


Any book ever written by Silver RavenWolf.
Packed through with lies, misinformation, fluffy bunniness, Christianity-bashing, encouraging children to lie to their parents, some seriously cultish statements, and just general codswallop.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë
So boring! I've made myself read it 3 times now and I cannot understand why it gets venerated as a piece of outstanding literature. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë is so much better than WH yet WH gets all the glory. I know that's mainly because Charlotte blocked the re-publication of Wildfell Hall after Anne's death but still, Wildfell Hall is amazing.

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 Post subject: Re: Least Favorite Books?
PostPosted: March 12th, 2013, 7:11 am 
Ringwraith
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I agree with The Fifty Shades of Grey hate.

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