Deep inside a darkened cave,
Lost and alone.
Trying hard to be brave,
But fear has shown.

Lost alone with none to aid,
Somewhere in the night.
A tear falling, showing I'm afraid,
As I give in to my fright.

Now what can I do I ask,
Will I never see?
The light of day through darkened mask,
Will I get free?

Should I step forwards at all,
Or should I stay right here?
And if I step will I fall,
I'm paralized by fear.


Father lead me to the light,
Take away my fears.
Father make it turn out right,
I'm drowning in my tears.

Father save me from myself,
Holding to my fears.
I can't make it by myself,
I'm drowning in my tears.

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Wow, thats beautiful!!! I love it! Your ryming is really good, something thats hard to accomplish!

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Oh, I love it to death. It just opens up a new world of emotion, I just can't believe the way you manage to do this in every poem you write.

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Thanks! glad you both liked it. I agreee, it is hard to rym all the time. But that is one thing I think is esential for me to write good poetry so I make it a top priority. Same thing with putting emotion into it. Those are the two things that, in my opinion, define poetry.

But very glad you guys liked it!

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I saw this on the list i was like "ah!!! he wrote a new 1!!! i gotta read it!!!!" lol once again, AWESOME!!! u definately put emotion in all of ur work, which I luv. I think emotion is the main part of poetry, too. (I also feel the same way about songs.) u know wut would be cool? if u took this poem, (or another one) & put it to a tune. That would be awesome!!! all of ur poems would make some awesome song lyrics. wut do u think? i could try to make 1......prob. wouldn't turn out the best though. just a thought. tell me wut u think. but anyway, really awesome.

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

Yeah, I have tried that a few times. Honestly some didn't turn out to great with the tune... but the last one I did my dad helped me on and it actually turned out really good I think. Everyone else says they like it and I liked the tune so...

If you wana put a tune to one that would be fine. But you gota send it to me somehow after your finished.

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ya, i'd be up for the challenge!!! but this would be my 1st song that i've ever written, as far as the tune (i've writeen half songs, but then i jsut never finish them) but there is 1 problem. how would is send it to you?

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

... not sure... can you e-mail sound clips?

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not sure....lol i guess so. i have qx.net. do u think u can send sound clips w/ that?

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

lol. Sorry I am computer iliterate besides getting on the forum and checking my e-mails. I really don't even know what that is....

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lol. it's just the site my email's on. u know, like iluvlotr@qx.net.com instead of iluvlotr@aol.com or something.

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

OH!.. sorry I really don't get much of that stuff...

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lol. that's ok. i'm just on the comp. like 24/7.
OK, so this is the poem i picked to try & write a song to: Drowning in My Tears. I think I'm going to do something like this:
the 1st 2 stanzas will be verse 1,
the 2nd 2 will be verse 2,
& the last 2 will be the chorus.
The order will be:
verse 1
chorus
verse 2
chorus
(key change )
chorus

how's that sound? i've kinda got the tune for the chorus, but not the verses. i'm hoping a can find a way to somehow make a piano part, too. Then maybe i can find a way to record the piano, & then voice over it, & then maybe even a harmony part w/ that. that would be cool! but i don't know, i may only be able to do voice. it depends on if i can find a way to put all of those together. (& come up with a good piano part) lol

man, i'm in a talkative mood 2day. all my posts have been really long 2day. lol

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

cool. sounds good to me. I will have to talk to my brother and see if you can send sound clips through e-mail. (he knows all about that stuff)

I thnk a piano part and harmoney would be really cool! Harmoney always make things sound better I think. (most of the time)

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ya, my dad said if i played the piano part & recorded it & sang the melody & record it, & then sang the harmony part & record it, he could put them all together. i'm excited! but it may take me 4ever to do this cuz coming up w/ a piano part will definately be challenge. (@ least, cuming up w/ a good 1.) lol

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

lol. Yeah that would be cool. I'm sure you can get it done:)

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