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Post subject: I can't believe I'm posting this...... Posted: May 27th, 2006, 10:04 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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OK, i can't believe I'm posting this, but I am. *takes deep breath* OK, so I've been getting more & more into poetry lately. We've all read Jax Nova's awesome poems (which, believe me, this is not NEAR as good.  ) & they've inspired me to write. Well, I've tried writing poetry before, & it didn't work out so good. I'm open for criticism, help, spelling/grammar errors, w/e to help me.... So erm, ya......here we go....
The Past
A poem by: pip&leggyluvr
The past.
It’s already happened.
It’s already gone.
It’s lost.
And yet,
on it we still dwell.
Wondering,
had we changed it,
what would have happened?
Wishing,
if we could change it,
would it matter?
And in doing so,
Losing,
the time that is now.
Not looking forwards,
but always back.
The past.
It’s already happened.
It’s already gone.
It’s lost.
And yet,
on it we still dwell.
Remembering,
the happy times,
the times that were good.
Wishing,
to go back,
and visit those times again.
And in doing so,
Saddening,
the time that is now.
Making it seem
so much worse,
than perhaps it really is.
The past.
It’s already happened.
It’s already gone.
It’s lost.
And yet,
on it we still dwell.
Missing
the present,
and the future.
The past.
Memories of something
that once existed
but no longer does.
The past
confuses
and consumes
Many.
Does it you?
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: May 29th, 2006, 6:44 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Nice job.  I, with all honesty, think it was a nicely writen poem. Very good subject in my opinion as well.
The only thing I could say negative about it is that it did not ryme a lot but that is a personal prefferance and there is no "Should or shouldn't ryme"
Nice job. 
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Post subject: Posted: May 30th, 2006, 4:29 am |
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Joined: 20 January 2006 Posts: 1429 Location: Hertfordshire, England
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I like the fact that it doesn't rhyme. It makes the poem flow without seams.
I prefer poems where the author hasn't searched for a rhyming word, and put the poem out of context.
Very well written.
_________________ "Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
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Post subject: Posted: May 30th, 2006, 3:25 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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Wow, thanks u guys!! I didn't think it was that good. lol
Ya, i know wut u mean ShadowStorm.....I like poems that don't rhyme, too. b/c 4 a lot of ppl (not u of course, Jax, b/c ur so good @ it!!! *glares @ jax*  ) kind of force a rhym, & it doesn't work. But in all honesty, I'm just not talented enough to try & get the right words & make it rhym!!! lol  Thanks for the input on it, though, I appreciate it. 
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: May 30th, 2006, 7:45 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Well, that's not egsactily a bad thing. And some people, as evident by ShadowStorm, like it better without ryms. 
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Post subject: Posted: May 31st, 2006, 10:42 am |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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lol. ya, good thing, huh?? 
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: June 2nd, 2006, 9:12 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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 Yeah it's a good thing.  After all what would the world be like if everyone was the same?! ... 
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Post subject: Posted: June 3rd, 2006, 12:24 am |
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Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 139 Location: Hewitt
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Post subject: Posted: June 3rd, 2006, 3:27 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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thanks,Kinduali.
Jax Nova wrote: :) Yeah it's a good thing.  After all what would the world be like if everyone was the same?! ... 
yuck.......very boring. lol  that would be no fun.....Oh gosh, if every1 was just like me?!?!?! scary thought. 8)
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: June 5th, 2006, 6:43 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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lol yeahI would hate it if everyone was the same!
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Post subject: Posted: June 6th, 2006, 5:39 am |
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Joined: 19 September 2005 Posts: 3891 Location: Middle-earth
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Wow, that's beautiful! I love it!!
_________________ <center>
We've been forever yet we've only just begun.
We have come full circle.
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Post subject: Posted: June 6th, 2006, 10:25 am |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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thanks. 
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: June 8th, 2006, 8:36 pm |
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Joined: 04 June 2005 Posts: 11221 Location: In a world of magic and mystery Country:
Gender: Female
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Well done pip&leggyluvr. I love the subject and the repetition you used. I also thought it was well written. Keep it up! 
_________________ 
AWESOME set by the AMAZING Lembas!!!
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Post subject: Posted: June 9th, 2006, 10:19 am |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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thanks! 
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: June 9th, 2006, 6:21 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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*grins* told ya you weren't as bad as you said you were.
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Post subject: Posted: June 10th, 2006, 4:06 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006 Posts: 3132 Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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*shrugs* I guess not. I hadn't really tried in a while......I mean, i read LotR, & really paid attention 2 thepoetry & luved it, & then my friend told me HE wrote poetry, & then i joined this site & met u, & all of that was a big inspiration for me 2 start, & well, ya....  Still not as good as u, though. 
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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