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Post subject: Masquerade Posted: May 27th, 2006, 9:08 pm |
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Joined: 27 May 2006 Posts: 16
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I like to write a lot of poetry and stories and all of my friends seem just to say, "Wow it's so good!" I need a little criticism or I'm not going to get better
Caught in an opera with a never-ending song Inside the musical void that I made, So never tell me what is right or wrong, While I dance in my own masquerade.
Masks are worn on every face, They're everywhere from bottom to top, Dancing away for years at the same pace, Just waiting for the music to stop.
I dance too to escape my fate, I'll dance all morning and all night, Dancing whether it is early or late, With my mask to cover my fright.
Hiding myself from the things I don't know, Hoping that my wounds would finally be healed, But suddenly the music begins to slow, And the people fear their secrets will be revealed.
The dancing soon becomes no more, They stand together with complete fear, As their masks begin to fall to the floor, Knowing for the end of the song is near.
The world for them is too cold of a place, The never-ending song is all they've known, For these are the people of masks of lace, And they'd have to face this world alone.
But one little girl still dances to her song, For her music has not begun to fade, Where you can't say what is right or wrong, For she is in her own little masquerade.
Singing the song that never ends, Dancing away so she'd never have to cry, Alone without any friends, With her music she'd never have to die.
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Post subject: Posted: May 30th, 2006, 11:24 pm |
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Joined: 16 March 2006 Posts: 20465 Location: Gondolin Country:
Gender: Female
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i think your poem is perfect!!! 
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Post subject: Posted: May 31st, 2006, 2:14 am |
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Joined: 04 June 2005 Posts: 4599 Location: Zeh Shire
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wow...it's so sad, i really enjoyed readng that, the subject is very interesting, that is really an amzing poem! *nods* yup yup
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Post subject: Posted: June 3rd, 2006, 9:33 am |
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Joined: 27 May 2006 Posts: 16
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^_^ thanks, but it's far from perfect....
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