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Post subject: Unfinshed, Untitled  Posted: July 23rd, 2006, 6:09 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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Ok, so i havent finished this one......I wrote it like a month ago, & i wanted to write more....but nothing would cum to me.  I'm not really sure where to go w/ it from here.... any suggestions on wut 2 write about after these 3 stanzas is appreciated!!!  Tell me wut u think...
On the outside
everything seemed fine.
Of all the pain and confusion,
I showed no sign.
Everyone believed the lie
that life was simple for me.
They didn’t even take the time
to look for themselves and see.
It was then that I met him.
He seemed to understand
all that confusion, and all that pain;
that my life was not so grand. _________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: July 24th, 2006, 4:36 pm |
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Joined: 30 December 2005
Posts: 2901
Gender: Female
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It's good so far, but I'm not sure where it should go either. I'll let you know if I think of something though. 
_________________
"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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Post subject: Posted: July 24th, 2006, 6:21 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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ok, thanks!!  _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: July 25th, 2006, 11:32 am |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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hey, nice job.
And a strikingly acurate discription of most of my life in many ways. lol
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Post subject: Posted: July 25th, 2006, 3:34 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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lol. thanks. any suggestions on where to go w/ it next?  _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 11:11 am |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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well, in my opinion I would say somewhere like showing how even through the troubles and boredome of life that life can be good. Something like that.
But like I said that's just my opinin. It's your poem dow what ya like. I am sure it will turn out great.
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 1:57 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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thanks Jax!!! _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 4:16 pm |
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Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 2198
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It's great, but maybe it should have been longer and more detailed..other from that it was bril _________________ <a href="http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20020" target="_blank"><img src="http://i43.tinypic.com/2ias6qf.jpg" border="0" alt="COME AND REQUEST SOME PHOTOS, OR JUST BROWSE"></a>
<a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i40.tinypic.com/2a7bz81.jpg" border="0"></a>
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 4:17 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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*nods* I'm working on making it longer....but thanks 4 the input anyway!!
OK, wut do u guys think of this stanza next?
He was like an angel
That’d been sent from above.
He showed me compassion;
He showed me how to love. _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 4:37 pm |
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Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 2198
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That's so sweet, i love it _________________ <a href="http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=20020" target="_blank"><img src="http://i43.tinypic.com/2ias6qf.jpg" border="0" alt="COME AND REQUEST SOME PHOTOS, OR JUST BROWSE"></a>
<a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i40.tinypic.com/2a7bz81.jpg" border="0"></a>
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 6:40 pm |
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Joined: 30 December 2005
Posts: 2901
Gender: Female
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Yes, I like it.
_________________
"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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Post subject: Posted: July 27th, 2006, 6:41 pm |
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Joined: 30 December 2005
Posts: 2901
Gender: Female
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Yes, I like it.
_________________
"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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Post subject: Posted: July 28th, 2006, 10:58 am |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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u think so? thanks guys. i'm working on more....
_________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: July 28th, 2006, 2:02 pm |
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Joined: 30 December 2005
Posts: 2901
Gender: Female
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Good. I can't wait to see where you go with it.
_________________
"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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Post subject: Posted: July 28th, 2006, 5:59 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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yea, me 2. lol i'll post more when I do. _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: August 1st, 2006, 10:30 am |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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I like that stanza as well. Let us know when you update it!
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