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 Post subject: "What Love"
PostPosted: August 29th, 2006, 3:06 pm 
Warden of the Knight
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What love could break the curse,
Laid upon my soul.
Things do change, yet only worse,
I'm part but once was whole.

Inside the sorrows fester still,
To break my heart in four.
But can you break a heart to fill,
That is not there any more?

Silent love, pure love, true, love,
What love could break the curse?
Undying love, divine love, true love,
Will only make it worse.

What love could save my soul,
That's desperate in dispare.
What love could make me whole,
What love could say, "I care"

What love, who's love, and where is this love?
His Love, True Love, He gives this love!

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Last edited by Jax Nova on August 30th, 2006, 11:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: August 29th, 2006, 4:18 pm 
Balrog
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OMG, I luv that Jax!!! Ah, I feel like I always say the same thing, but ur stuff's always so good!!! :) I love how the end....how u reveal that ur talking about the love of God....It's awesome!! The only problem that I see is....there r a couple mis-spelled words/typos. I'm an English freak, so that's y I noticed this. lol :closedeyes: But other than that, it awesome!! Keep it up!!! :-D 8)

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PostPosted: August 30th, 2006, 11:37 am 
Warden of the Knight
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Thanks.

Yeah, I know my spelling is my worst area I think. I was going to put it through a spell check but I forgot. lol *goes and does that now*

at least I will get some of them out of there. lol

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PostPosted: August 30th, 2006, 4:36 pm 
Balrog
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lol. it's fine, it's just a pet peeve. lol idk y *shrugs* *goes back & reads again*still awesome!!! (& no spelling probs!! lol ) i know, i'm a dork, I luv English. lol :-P Ok well anyway, awesome as usual!! :)

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PostPosted: August 31st, 2006, 8:43 pm 
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lol don't feel bad, I think it's a wonderfull thing when people can catch those things and I appreciate you letting me know!

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PostPosted: September 1st, 2006, 4:34 pm 
Balrog
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really? b/c sumtimes i tend not 2 tell ppl b/c sum ppl find it annoying.... :closedeyes: lol but if u really don't mind, i'll tell u if i find any!! :-D

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PostPosted: September 4th, 2006, 11:47 am 
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Thanks. :) I appreciate people poointing out my mistakes, it's one way I can learn and do a better job.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: September 4th, 2006, 12:21 pm 
Maia
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Wonderful poem, Jax, as for flaws, if there is any they seem to have been ironed out


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PostPosted: September 4th, 2006, 4:36 pm 
Istari
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Lol, I'm obsessed with that as well, Pip. :P

The poem is wonderful, Jax!! I love it!! :) I don't know what else to say, but it's wonderful!! :P :)

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PostPosted: September 5th, 2006, 9:11 pm 
Balrog
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^Glad 2 know i'm not the only 1 Arwen!! lol :-P

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