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Post subject: Random  Posted: October 8th, 2006, 8:36 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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Just a totally compeltely random little snippet that popped into my mind....it's not a full poem, it's not a very good poem....just some feeling that had to be put down on paper, so I wouldn't go mad. Not sure y i'm even posting it.....usually when i do this i don't post it...*shrugs* anyways, here it is....
Yet deep down,
I still loved him.
Deep down, I still hoped;
still dreamed, that he secretly
loved me.
But alas,
fate crept in,
and took over.
For one day,
he told me;
For one day,
he was asked,
and he
said no.
My heart
was crushed.
My head
began to spin.
I felt like I
would die.
Heartbroken,
he left me,
not knowing
what it was
that he
had done.
But now,
I am over him.
I have said it before.
Again, and again,
I've tried to convince those around me;
tried to convince myself,
that I loved him
no more.
But deep down,
I still longed for him.
Deep down,
I still did.
But now is different.
That was then,
but this is now.
This is the present.
In the past,
I have loved him.
Perhaps even in the present,
I still love him.
Yet one day,
in the future,
I know that I
will love him
no more.
And I have
hope,
Once again.
_________________ 
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: October 10th, 2006, 3:57 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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It's fine in my opinion. It went together very well. 
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Post subject: Posted: October 10th, 2006, 10:56 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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thx. like i said b4......totally randomly popped in my head.....it ends alright, it just....idk, i feel like i'm missing the beginning, u know? *shrugs* thx 4 the input! _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: October 10th, 2006, 11:31 pm |
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Joined: 30 December 2005
Posts: 2901
Gender: Female
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I like it. I think that the feeling came across well.
_________________
"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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Post subject: Posted: October 11th, 2006, 5:09 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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thx  _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: October 13th, 2006, 4:45 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Well, it does kind of come in a bit abruptly but I don't think that does to much to add a negative to it. *shrugs* at least not in my opinion. lol
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Post subject: Posted: October 13th, 2006, 6:47 pm |
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Joined: 30 December 2005
Posts: 2901
Gender: Female
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Yes, I suppose you can tell you just got it out there really fast, but in a way it adds a bit of an effect to it.
_________________
"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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Post subject: Posted: October 13th, 2006, 8:15 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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really? u think so? thx! lol _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Posted: October 16th, 2006, 5:13 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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After all the more things you can do to a poem to make them unique, in my opinion, the better. It makes it different from most others.
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Post subject: Posted: October 16th, 2006, 6:30 pm |
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Joined: 04 June 2005
Posts: 4599
Location: Zeh Shire
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It's great, it's unique in style, but it got it's point across, I personally liked it a lot. You wrote it very ncie I was only struck when you said "i am over him" that seems to leen a little more to the vernacular than the rest of it did.
_________________ <center> 
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Post subject: Posted: October 17th, 2006, 4:59 pm |
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: The Shire
Gender: Female
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yes....it does, but....it's a very confused & mixed feeling...that's y i put tht..b/c like, i think i'm over him, but then i'm not sure....but i know that one day, in the future, i will be, so yha...thx 4 the comments guys!!  _________________
"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."
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Post subject: Re: Random Posted: September 12th, 2025, 8:37 pm |
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Joined: 20 January 2025
Posts: 141422
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