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Post subject: How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:absolutly hilarious!  Posted: November 7th, 2006, 3:13 pm |
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Joined: 21 June 2005
Posts: 1597
Location: D-Town!!! (detroit MI)
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1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point
a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your trash can on your desk and label it "In."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
with a serious face.
11 Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems
Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical
Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going
To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity......
Repost This To Make Others Smile.
It's Called Therapy
_________________ 
Missing Charlie already!
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Post subject: Posted: November 7th, 2006, 3:37 pm |
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Joined: 27 September 2005
Posts: 2895
Location: Germany
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That's a hillarious list! I laughed out loud a couple of times. 
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Post subject: Re: How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:absolutly hilari Posted: November 7th, 2006, 7:01 pm |
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Joined: 08 October 2006
Posts: 4629
Location: Imladris
Country: 
Gender: Female
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Eowyn Arelen wrote:
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
Very funny. I think I might need to try this one. _________________  
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Post subject: Posted: November 7th, 2006, 7:08 pm |
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Joined: 14 June 2005
Posts: 8567
Location: Missoula, Montana
Country: 
Gender: Female
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Oh wow. *is on floor twitching from hysterical fits of laughter* Wow. Those are amazing!! I'll most definatley have to do those some time!! "Diet water"...ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah aha
_________________ "So what? So plenty!"
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Post subject: Posted: November 7th, 2006, 7:14 pm |
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Joined: 18 August 2006
Posts: 3735
Country:
Gender: Female
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Oh I've gotton this email before! It's so funny!
Here is something else....(about Walmart)
Fifteen Things to do at Wal Mart
1. Get bottles of brown nail polish and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a Code 3 in housewares", . . . and see what happens.
5. Put M&M's on lay away.
6. Move 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna wanna be look using funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
15. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud, "Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!
_________________
Ringer for Christ
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Post subject: Posted: November 7th, 2006, 10:44 pm |
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Joined: 04 June 2005
Posts: 572
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Bubble Black wrote: That's a hillarious list! I laughed out loud a couple of times. Same here! Like the ATM One. I need to Add "address me as a wrestler"
And "Page your self over the intercom"..Wait, also The trashcan one, Although ive done something like that before, But only cause of allergies." _________________ <img src="http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/766/snoopymq9.jpg">
<img src="http://img373.imageshack.us/img373/6383/gasgt3.jpg">
Both Banners and Av. Made By Theni.
:lightsabre: "Luke, Use the fork" :lightsabre:
"There's one way to get noticed, Garfield. Just Accentuate your best feature. Excuse Me! I have healthy Gums!
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Post subject: Posted: November 7th, 2006, 11:35 pm |
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Joined: 21 June 2005
Posts: 1597
Location: D-Town!!! (detroit MI)
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My favorite was the party one... lol so great!
_________________
Missing Charlie already!
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Post subject: Posted: November 9th, 2006, 7:59 pm |
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Joined: 18 August 2006
Posts: 4169
Location: Camelot, via TARDIS
Gender: Female
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all of these are great! 
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You may (or may not) know me elsewhere as Elfpen
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Post subject: Posted: November 9th, 2006, 11:25 pm |
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Joined: 10 October 2006
Posts: 466
Location: not too sure anymore...
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 Those are awesome! I have something like that...28 fun things to do in the elevator (I'm not going to post all of them):
1. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up! All of you shut up!"
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Offer name tags to everyone getting in the elevator. Wear yours upsidedown.
6. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan, "Oh, no, not now, motion sickness!"
7. Meow occasionally.
8. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go!" then sigh and say "Oops".
9. Say, "I wonder what these do" and press all of the rred buttons.
10. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. _________________ Heh.  I actually changed my sig. Wow.
"I'll tell you truly: I value my thought and work terribly, but in essence - think about it - this whole world of ours is just a bit of mildew that grew over a tiny planet. And we think we can have something great - thoughts, deeds! They're all grains of sand." - Levin
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Post subject: Posted: November 10th, 2006, 12:44 am |
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Joined: 23 August 2006
Posts: 999
Location: Minas Anor
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^HAHAHA!
11.) Stare manically and grin at another passenger for an extended amount of time before announcing, "I have new socks on."
12.) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers in an unnecessarily loud voice, "This is MY personal space!"
13.) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
14.) When the doors close, announce to the others in a voice of forced calm, "It's okay. Don't panic. They open again!"
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Post subject: Posted: November 10th, 2006, 2:36 pm |
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Joined: 21 June 2005
Posts: 1597
Location: D-Town!!! (detroit MI)
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^ I love the last one! those are so funny!
_________________
Missing Charlie already!
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Post subject: Posted: November 11th, 2006, 11:16 am |
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Joined: 21 August 2006
Posts: 4076
Location: Out Walking
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We've done the diet water one.
There are a few more elevator ones (forgive me if some of them have already been said.)
On a long ride, sway from side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
Offer nametags to everyone as they get on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain trying to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got on new socks!"
When the elevator fills up and you're at the back, moan softly: "Oh, no! Motion sickness!"
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
Whenever the elevator descends, yell, "Chutes away!"
Walk on with a cooler labeled "human head."
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of them!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say, "Mmm... mighty tasty!"
Leave a box between the doors as you get off.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
Play the harmonica.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Listen to the elevator's walls with a stethoscope.
Bring along a chair.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
Carry a blanket. Clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
Lean against the doors and say 'They have a cave troll'
We were going to do the socks-on one in an elevator once, but then we found out the mall we were at had no elevators and we were all wearing flip-flops.
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Post subject: Re: How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:absolutly hilari Posted: November 11th, 2006, 11:44 am |
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Joined: 29 July 2005
Posts: 11978
Country:
Gender: Female
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Eowyn Arelen wrote: 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
^My mother's friend did that at work once and no one noticed!
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Post subject: Posted: November 11th, 2006, 11:56 am |
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Joined: 16 March 2006
Posts: 20465
Location: Gondolin
Country: 
Gender: Female
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Okay all of you ... those are HILARIOUS and I am most definitely going to try them one day.. I have about two for in-class...
1. Walk into class late and when the teacher says you're late, say with a serious expression, "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
2. Wave your hand annoyingly and incessently in the air and when the teacher calls on you, say that you were just stretching.
3. During a lesson, after whatever your teacher says, put on a straight face and say, "I totally agree."
4. Try to lick your elbow during the entire class, while the teacher is teaching.
I had more before.. but I forgot them. All of those that I just posted, I tried them all before.. hilarious results, esp #1 
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Post subject: Posted: November 12th, 2006, 7:08 am |
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Joined: 21 August 2006
Posts: 4076
Location: Out Walking
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*laughs* love those!
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