ALright I started writing this story earlier on some down time I had from studying and would really love and input or comments about it. Basically I would like to know if you guys think I should keep going with it...What I have might be a bit long for a post but if you take the time to read it and comment about it I would be very greatful
Thanks
p.s. Alright I wrote a little more and it's all here from start to finish. I'm sorry it kinda bounces around everywhere.
Her eyes full of tears as he walked away, “Please, don’t leave me here” she pleaded. Pain in his heart, he had no choice. He turned and walked away from her. Try as she might to restrain them the tears escaped from her dark blue eyes.
Nerachai suddenly awoke from her dream; sweat dripping off her soft face. As she collected her thoughts she slowly dressed for the day. She was young, only about 400 years old, with eyes like the ocean. Her golden hair fell to her waist and framed her porclein face. She hurried down the stairs for breakfast with her mother and 2 older brothers. Anxiety filled her delicate face as she glided effortlessly through the halls of her home. Try as she might she could not shake the horrid memory she had just relived.
Her brothers, Melcindomien and Eruheran, were twins. They were about 200 years older than Nerachai. She often looked to them for help and guidance. Although they were twins Melcindomien and Eruheran had very different characteristics. Eruheran had dark hair that near reached the middle of his back, which he often wore in a half ponytail to keep out of his eyes. He also took his studies very seriously and devoted all of his time and energy into them. He loves poetry and song and his people’s history.
Melcindomien, on the other hand, had blonde hair much like Nerachai, which reached the center of his back and wore in a half ponytail braid. Melcindomien loved the forest and would often linger off into them whenever he had a free moment. He studied archery and was a near perfect shot almost all of the time. He had chosen a life of solitude in order to provide for his mother and 2 other siblings.
As they gathered around the table, in preparation of their morning meal, Melcindomien took notice to Nerachai to ask what was wrong. She insisted that it was nothing and asked for the topic to be dropped before their mother walked in. So it was, for the moment anyway.
Soon after Nerachai and her brothers sat down their mother arrived from her morning ride. She was a beautiful woman with dark brown wavy hair that nearly reached the ground and eyes like the midnight sky. Her face was beautiful but stern. She was a very strong woman and was well able to care for herself and her children. She ruled her home steadily but not distantly and was never to consumed for her children, the center of her world, for they were all that she had left of her love. Her name was Inimeitiel.
All three children greeted their mother happily. As they sat down Inimeitiel looked at Nerachai and asked if everything was okay. Nerachai responded, “Yes, everything is fine mother.” Desperately wanting to change the subject, asked, “How was your morning ride?” “Simply delightful” her mother responded. Afterward the table conversations were just small chitchat about the days planned activities and various filler conversations.
When breakfast had commenced Nerachai and the twins took their horses out for a morning ride. Melcindomien then proceeded to interrogate Nerachai while riding. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked “ I told you to drop it, why can’t you leave anything alone?” she replied. “It’s my job as an older brother not to.” Nerachai rolled her eyes and got off of her chestnut horse, Diatamiah, and led him under the shade of a tall oak tree. Melcindomien and Eruheran followed. Nerachai sat at the base of the tree leaning her back against its mighty trunk. Her brothers followed and sat on either side of her.
As the three sat in silence Nerachai was hoping that her brothers would just go away. She wanted to be alone. She needed to think. Never was there a time when anyone would let her be alone, unless she was safely in her room.
Eruheran looked at Nerachai. “Look we know something’s up, you’ve been acting strange all morning.” Trying to suppress any tears that began to form. “ Do you remember that day when father had to leave?” Both her brothers obviously taken aback by this question looked at one another in silence. Finally Eruheran replied, “Of course we do, I don’t think anyone in this family will forget that dreadful day.” “Why do you ask such a question?” Melcindomien asked. “I had a dream about it last night, shook me up is all.” Melcindomien and Eruheran exchanged suspicious looks. “ I promise that’s all” Nerachai said in reply to seeing their suspicion.
For the twin brothers know her all to well, because that was not all that was bothering her. When her father had left some 350 years ago it had been to save his family. She knew this. What she did not understand is what her father said to her before he had left. What did he mean? How could he possibly come and return to her after 350 years with no word he was even still alive. She didn’t want to think on it any longer. Nerachai simply wiped it from her mind. She turned to her brothers as she began to stand, “ we had better get back home before mother gets worried.” She called Diatamiah to her, mounted and began to ride back. Her brothers followed suit calling their horses to them and following only seconds behind their baby sister.
As the mighty sun began to sink into the horizon, a family in the middle of a field stood. A man, his wife, and their 3 children all stood there. Inimeitiel held on to her dearest husband as though nothing could ever separate them. Beriadan held his wife close to him in a tight embrace. Tears flooded her eyes and soon began to spill over. He gently kissed her lips as they began to separate he whispered, “I’ll be fine, my love” he then kissed her forehead softly and looked at her with a slight grin. “What about Nerachai? What is going to happen to our baby girl?” She asked, worry filling her eyes. He simply replied, “I will need to get her, but only when she is ready.” Inimeitiel didn’t know what to do. She could not possibly loose both her husband and her daughter. She knew not where her husband was going or where he would someday be taking their daughter. All that she knew was that they both had to leave or else the race would fail forever. Grief in her heart she began to sob uncontrollably. She was hysterical and could not be consoled. Her twin sons, one on either side of her, held her up and helped her back into the sanctuary.
Her daughter stayed and refused to leave her fathers side. She loved her father, as did everyone. She also admired him greatly. He was about 6’2” and had a very strong frame. He had golden hair he wore in a half ponytail. He was very skilled with a Bow and Arrow and could also fight hand-to-hand combat. However, he also had a gentle side to him and love to paint and sculpt. He often made toys for all of his children, especially Nerachai. He had a stern face but always seemed to soften around his children. He had eyes that matched the ocean perfectly and the warmest smile anyone would know. “Bapa, why can’t I go with you?” She asked. His heart filled with pride as his daughter asked him this. He smiled as he replied, “ you have to keep your brothers out of trouble, my little aranel.” Her eyes began to fill with tears, but she fought them back. For even though she was still young she had strength no one could comprehend. His son, Melcindomien was walking back up to them after leaving his mother with Eruheran. Beriadan leaned in and whispered in Nerachai s’ ear “The day will come when I will summon you. You have a gift neither one of your brothers have received. I will need you. Only when I know you are ready. “One day daughter, I promise I shall come back for you.” Melcindomien was now standing beside them, “Goodbye, father.” “Goodbye, my son.” He replied. With that their father turned and began to walk away. “Bapa, PLEASE. DON’T GO!” Her dark blue eyes began to flood with tears. She couldn’t stand it she lunged to go and run after him, but her brother caught her in mid stride. Fighting him the whole time while screaming to her father to come back. “BAPA!! COME BACK!!” Melcindomien, tried to quiet and comfort her, with no success. “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! BAPA!!” She could no longer hold them back as the tears began to stream out of her eyes like a river that has been held back by a dam. Her father turned to face his precious daughter once more. Tears filled his eyes and pain so deep in his heart as he turned and walked away from them.
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Formerly Eruwaedhiel
[font=fantasy]Married To Draco Malfoy 9/11/07[/font]
Thnx Aerlinn & timtimtimtim 4 banner
It's very good!!
