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Post subject: Posted: April 12th, 2009, 4:50 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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I love this vignette.  I've been waiting to write it for 2 years now, and I think it has some of the best dialogue of all the vignettes I've written. I hope you'll agree.
<center> A Series of Firsts
The First Regrets</center>
I follow Elizabeth with my eyes as she paces back and forth across her bedroom floor. I have not been in this room since marrying, and it is amazing to me how much it has changed. With Elizabeth’s arrival it was no longer dominated by mismatched furniture covered with dusty white sheets, but was instead turned into her own separate living quarters. I vaguely remember it being used for perhaps six months after our marriage, until one night Elizabeth lay down beside me in the bed we share now, citing that the room down the corridor was much too big for one person. She has not used it for anything but a walk in cupboard since.
The room, which was once sparsely filled, now houses more dresses, feathers, and shoes than I have ever laid eyes on. They hang from every possible nook and cranny, leaving no space for any other furniture besides the stately bed in the centre of the room whose linens lie forever folded down for someone to sleep in.
“Do not mourn for me. I may make a recovery yet, and even if I do not, I am old. I have lived a good, full life. We are not meant to live forever you know.”
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Post subject: Posted: April 12th, 2009, 7:29 pm |
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Joined: 02 July 2008 Posts: 2675 Country:
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Quote: “I knew that you loved her from the beginning, and I knew that no matter how much she spurned you, you would still love her. That knowledge is what caused me the most pain. Not only had I condemned my daughter, I had also placed her in the hands of someone who would genuinely love her, but would never be loved in return. That thought burned me, for now I had condemned two lives and not one.”
Oh. My. Gosh.  My breath just left me when I read this. Wow. This story is sheer brilliance. 
_________________  i'm back for a little! i'll see how this visit goes. 
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Post subject: Posted: April 12th, 2009, 8:36 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Thank you so much, SilverRose!  Dialogue is not my forte, and Norrie's conversation with the Governor took many rewrites, but your reaction makes it all worth it.
@ Ammy: Sorry for not replying earlier. Thanks for the review, love.  I'm glad you enjoyed the dress description. Apparently your not the only one who got something out of that as I had several comments on ff.net saying they were interested in it as well. Here I was thinking that it was overkill. NuMa even made some art from it on dA. I hope you enjoy this vignette also!
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Post subject: Posted: May 2nd, 2009, 4:26 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Sorry for the double post.
<center> A Series of Firsts
The First Loss</center>
The edge of my vision blurs as I stare at the intricate lace detailing on Governor Swann’s cuff. It is all I can do to avoid looking at his face, a face that seems to draw me in more than anything else in the drafty church. For a moment I turn my attention to Elizabeth who leans on my arm for support attempting to muffle her cries in a handkerchief pressed to her lips. Her eyes are red rimmed and glossy, and she dabs at them without feeling as the priest preaches in an unbearably loud pitch about the saving grace of Christ. His voice seems to ricochet off the walls, and I long to cover my ears at its harshness.
I close my eyes on these painful memories, and the casket closes with a bitter thud of finality.
Good news everyone! I decided that ending this series following the death of Governor Swann was not a good idea. I have since come up with 2 unplanned vignettes to go along with 1 planned one. Those should appear within the coming month or two. By the way, how would all of you feel about an epilogue set a few years after the end of this story? I don't have it written, but I have a couple of ideas for it floating about in my brain.
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Post subject: Posted: May 17th, 2009, 9:19 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Okay, more changes. I cut out one unplanned vignette, making this one the second to last besides the epilogue. A huge warning goes along with this vignette. It's the reason I gave my fic a T rating on FF.net to begin with. There is an explicitly sexual situation, though nothing is described graphically. Many things are implied however, and if that makes you uncomfortable then I suggest you skip the last 4 or so paragraphs and just assume you know what James and Lizzy were up to.
<center> A Series of Firsts
The First Time</center>
“A bit to the left. No, no, now to the right.”
Beads of sweat roll down my back as I teeter precariously on one of Thomas’s ladders above the sitting room fireplace mantle. Elizabeth lolls against the doorframe giving instructions as to the placement of her mother’s portrait. “There now, that’s perfect!” She smiles, and I jump down from my perch, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. Mrs. Swann gazes down at us serenely, her face forever held in a stance of youthful beauty. Elizabeth’s resemblance to her is extremely striking.
“Would you like to explore a different India tonight?”
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Post subject: Posted: May 22nd, 2009, 7:02 pm |
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Joined: 13 June 2007 Posts: 8115 Location: Asleep Somewhere... Anywhere Country:
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Oks, so I just read the four vignettes I was behind on... well, I admit that I skipped the last part of that last one. but that aside, your story is just beautiful! Like, gosh, it’s so exciting/wonderful to see how you’re developing the characters over a period of years. I’m really liking all of it. You do such a good job capturing Norrie and Liz and the way you write is beautiful! So well done! Bravo, Larry! I can't wait to see where you take them now... we better meet Little Norrie/Little Liz soon! It'll be so cute! I cannot wait! Thanks for writing such a lovely piece, dear!
Btw, an epilogue would be just awesome, Lar!
_________________ Chase a couple hearts, we could leave 'em in shreds Meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend Just remember what I said, cause it isn't over yet
 Get.Lost.In.The.Dark.To.Find.Yourself -sig by Loafers-
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Post subject: Posted: May 23rd, 2009, 12:43 am |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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I was beginning to wonder if anyone was still reading this.  It's wonderful to see your familiar face in here again.  And it's completely all right that you skipped the ending. That's what all those long-winded warnings were for.  Thanks again for reading! I do hope we see a wee Norrie/Liz soon as well.
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Post subject: Posted: May 23rd, 2009, 9:11 pm |
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Joined: 04 February 2006 Posts: 9445 Location: Southeast of the Northern part of West Hyglemr Country:
Gender: Female
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So, apparently I need to read the description stuff before I just start reading it on DA.  But another very well done one! What, you mean we don't get neverending Lar-y writings? Sadness. Epilogue though, that's good. 
_________________ going on a journey through my old claims


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Post subject: Posted: May 25th, 2009, 12:05 am |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Oh dear, yeah, the thing about DA is the stupid description thing is at the bottom. I don't see how that's helpful at all. I hope you enjoyed it though, Nurr, even if you read bits you hadn't intended to.
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Post subject: Posted: May 31st, 2009, 1:49 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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I think this vignette will be much more agreeable for everyone, especially considering it's not the end as I led all of you to believe. Sorry about that. I got attacked by a plot bunny the other day, and just had to do something about it.
<center> A Series of Firsts
The First Morning</center>
My eyes open suddenly to meet the bright morning light. Blinking, I wonder how on earth I could have awoken at such a peaceful hour, and then the reason becomes clear. A weight upon my chest finally makes itself known to me. Contentedly, I lean back into the pillows, watching Elizabeth’s head rise and fall as I breathe deeply from the morning air. I place a light kiss on the top of her head, and her eyes flutter open at the touch.
"Would you tell her that I still love her? That I still think about her from time to time and that I have no regrets? As long as she is happy, I am happy."
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Post subject: Posted: May 31st, 2009, 9:54 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Note: This is NOT the end. I AM writing an epilogue, but it's not done yet. Please bear with me. This has been the product of two years of hard work, and I'm having a bit of trouble letting it go. Don't mind me if I get all weepy on you.
<center> A Series of Firsts
The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives</center>
It is a wonderful feeling to finally see the busy docks of Port Royal and the Union Jack snapping in the wind at the fort. The excitement of telling Elizabeth about my encounter with Will is overwhelming, and as soon as we make berth I search for Elizabeth’s face amongst the elegantly bejeweled officer wives waiting on the dock. When I do not see her, my excitement turns into an anxiety that gnaws away at my insides. I take the carriage, which has been sent from the house, and when I arrive home at last I hasten up the front steps to greet Betsy at the door.
"Never would I have expected such a homecoming or a reaction to news that should otherwise be joyous."
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Post subject: Posted: June 1st, 2009, 9:55 pm |
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Joined: 13 June 2007 Posts: 8115 Location: Asleep Somewhere... Anywhere Country:
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Oh wow, Lar! This is just gorgeous! I love how you wrapped it all up. And that final visit back to Will was very well handled. I really liked it. Just everything about it was nice. Like all the characters have finally reached some sort of peace with their lives. And I love how you tied in what happened in AWE and DMC with the story… and, yayness! The Norrington family at last! It’s just amazing! So lovely to see the characters and the story come full circle in a way, you know? The Epilogue was beautiful. I mean… I am speechless.
Quote: “Why not?” I say with a shrug, as Charlotte curls up in my arms and looks up at me with those innocent eyes. “You of all people should know that there’s a first time for everything.”
^AMAZING, AMAZING way to end it! 
It has been an amazing ride and I have loved the story very much. You have a right to be proud of this story. It's beautiful. It took 2 years? Wow. Good job, Lar. Really, really good job.
(I feel like standing up and applauding or something… for real! )
_________________ Chase a couple hearts, we could leave 'em in shreds Meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend Just remember what I said, cause it isn't over yet
 Get.Lost.In.The.Dark.To.Find.Yourself -sig by Loafers-
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Post subject: Posted: June 1st, 2009, 11:52 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Aww, PD, you are the best! It brings tears to my eyes knowing that you love it so much. It's one thing to have your story loved by people you don't know and another to be applauded by people you love. Thank you!
By the way, someone mentioned in the reviews at FF.net that they would be interested in a prequel. I'm thinking about giving it a shot. The first chapter should be up soon. Of course, if I can't get into the story I probably won't continue it, but I thought I may as well give it a shot.
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Post subject: Posted: June 2nd, 2009, 3:10 pm |
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Joined: 24 January 2007 Posts: 1831 Location: Erebor Country:
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Lar-shmoo! I've been reading, but I haven't been commenting. Im not really a great Norribeth fan, but after this - I think Im a convert.
Great stuff love! 
_________________ 
And all will turn to silver glass...
By Goldstrike
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Post subject: Posted: June 2nd, 2009, 5:31 pm |
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Joined: 13 June 2007 Posts: 8115 Location: Asleep Somewhere... Anywhere Country:
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Awww, I didn’t mean to make you cry or anything, Lar! I just really loved this story. (not as much as you do, I’m sure, but I still love it a lot ) You’re very welcome. *huggles tight*
Hm, a prequel you say? So it’s not done!? but… I am curious to see how you’re going to go about a prequel. Hm. Well, at least you’re giving it a shot… that’s wonderful. if it’s anything like this one… well… 
heeyyyy! Looks like you've turned someone into a Norribeth fan with this story, Larry! 
_________________ Chase a couple hearts, we could leave 'em in shreds Meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend Just remember what I said, cause it isn't over yet
 Get.Lost.In.The.Dark.To.Find.Yourself -sig by Loafers-
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Post subject: Posted: June 2nd, 2009, 9:56 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 13144 Location: Heaven: Rockin' with Severus Snape Country:
Gender: Female
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Aww, thanks Saira-love! That's downright lovely of you to say, and I'm glad you've gotten around to commenting.
That's all right, PD, I was just so happy, and it was early in the morning. Fatigue and giddiness at the same time can do that to a person.  And yeah, I'm hoping to get this prequel off the ground soon. It's going to be from Elizabeth's point of view this time, but still with plenty of James in it.
Yay for more Norribeth fans! *pats Willabeth* Some day I shall write an epic love story for them as well, although I think that's already been done enough.
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