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Post subject: The Love and Lies (Original, T) Posted: March 22nd, 2011, 8:28 pm |
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Joined: 17 March 2011 Posts: 138 Location: Look to your left. Now back at this text. Did you see me? Country:
Gender: Female
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Here's a little bit from a book I've been writing for about... four months. I know, that's not very long to be working on something, but I've been working very hard! This is just something I wrote when I first started playing with the characters. I wrote it to get a feel for their personalities :)
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"How was your day?" Tzippora asked, putting on the kettle to boil. She could tell her husband was agitated and her recipe to mend such a thing was always tea and small talk.
Rolf huffed and slumped his weight against the table lazily, dropping his military posture and facade. He lifted his eyes up and took in her form, smugly noting the gentle roundness of her belly.
"Excruciating," he said at length. "The new guard... they have no idea what they're doing."
Tzippora smiled grimly and set out Rolf's favorite clay baked mug and said, "That's to be expected, though, isn't it?" They'll learn." The kettle whistled then and she tended it, pouring boiling water into the mug to begin allowing the tea to steep. "Tell me though, Rolf, are the new men very cruel?"
He was silent in the wake of Tzippora's question, the clank of the mug on the wooden table filling the air. Rolf brought the drink to his lips prematurely and sipped the half steeped brew. His course of action was simple at this point, almost predetermined. He would lie to her, just like he always had. There was no reason to trouble Tzippora with the nuances of camp life; he didn't want her to fret under the best of conditions. Now that she was under the strain of her second pregnancy, he would sooner die than impose any extra stresses. But Rolf also supposed he should feel guilty for his lies (he didn't) and obliged his faltering code of ethics by artlessly changing the subject. He took another sip of his drink, which was by then fully steeped and asked, "How are the girls?"
_________________
"old soldiers never die, they just fade away." - general macarthurgraphics by goldstrike the barracks
Last edited by foot soldier on March 26th, 2011, 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post subject: Re: The Love and Lies (Original, T) Posted: March 25th, 2011, 9:20 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Hm... sounds interesting. Your writing style is nice I think. I'm not a professional writer, just amateur really but I didn't notice anything to point out.
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Post subject: Re: The Love and Lies (Original, T) Posted: March 26th, 2011, 4:49 pm |
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Joined: 17 March 2011 Posts: 138 Location: Look to your left. Now back at this text. Did you see me? Country:
Gender: Female
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I'm not a professional, either. I really appreciate what you said about my writing style, though :) It's been a long time coming for me to hit on a style that is solidly my own.
_________________
"old soldiers never die, they just fade away." - general macarthurgraphics by goldstrike the barracks
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Post subject: Re: The Love and Lies (Original, T) Posted: March 26th, 2011, 10:04 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005 Posts: 19521 Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Yeah, I know how hard that can be. I've done a ton of writing and it's always a constant learning and improving process. As they say, practice makes perfect... yet no one ever reaches "perfect" Keep up the writing. It's a wonderful pass-time in my opinion!
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Post subject: Re: The Love and Lies (Original, T) Posted: January 4th, 2012, 8:11 pm |
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Joined: 02 January 2012 Posts: 1 Location: The Shire Country:
Gender: Female
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Hey! I'm writing a fanfiction too, and i need advice on how to get a good title! so far i have a life in Rivendell, cuz frodo and sam travel to rivendell, and soon fall into trouble in rivendell...... thats all that i really have so far! Could you help me?
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