My "Once" is on a break until March...I'm just going to crawl into a corner now as I count down the days until its return. Or mentally escape onto my Hook's ship as I ignore reality and sink into denial.

Welcome back Erin!

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13

I don't think I've seen it. I'm not much of a TV watcher. I prefer to watch DVDs or Blurays of my fave movies. For TV shows I like, I get them all on DVD, so I can watch them in order. I can't stand that, when one episode is like series 1, then the next one that airs is like from series 6, and they are married with kids. I prefer to watch in order.

I'll be gone after today, until Christmas or there abouts. For real this time. I don't think the internet stick has any more freebie days.

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♥ Married to Thranduil, 22 April 2014 ♥

♦ Lónannûniel, Queen of the Woodland Realm ♦

Feeling rather confused right now. Not sure what to do with life. At the moment, I'm content working where I am, because I'm just happy I've found something after two years. But I'm also thinking about what I'll do in the future. Ma keeps saying 'youre still keeping your eye on vet clinics right??' The vet thing obviously hasn't worked out in my favor, and I'm not even sure I really want to keep trying for that or not. I never really wanted to be in a clinic anyway, what I wanted was a zoo, doing research and conservation work. But getting the degrees that would help me get to that level takes more brains than I feel I've got. So my mind is a whirling mess at the moment, wondering if I'll ever get to do what I really wanted in life, or if maybe my desire to help animals would best be channeled into volunteer work (I could still honor Steve Irwin's memory by doing that, he certainly wouldn't frown on that sort of work) Then my mind is like "you love mysteries and crime shows and criminal profiling and doing lab work, how about forensic science?!" but then I backtrack and am like "nope, thats for smarter people than me". So then my mind is like "you like reading and classic literature and discussing it with people, how about some sort of literature major?" but then my mind goes "yeah, and where are you going to get a job for that? just stick with that being a hobby". So then my mind is like "you like history and find it fun to study and learn new things". My mind is a mess right now. If only I knew what would fit me best...

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13

I know what you mean, I'm the same. I'm 25 and feel confused. I have no idea what to do or where I want to be. I mean, I followed a dream and went to Japan and I love it to bits, but I've also come to learn that this isn't going to lead me to get a job here and a life here. So it feels sort of... like I'm wasting time and money by being here. But I don't want to leave either, because I love being here so much. I would love to write full time but there's no money in that, unless I'd manage to get something published but I'm ages away from that, because although I've got a finished book it needs years of editing before I'm willing to try and publish it. And my English needs to improve first too, and I'd like to take some writing courses, but I don't want to do it in Sweden because I don't want to write in Swedish ever. So it's confusing for me too, and I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I stay in Japan for a year because it's fun or do I stay for six months and try to find where I belong sooner?

When it comes to your troubles, could you try and get like an internship somewhere to try it out practically to see if you're interested in those particular fields?

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Rest in peace Carrie Fisher, the legend we didn't deserve.

You've wanted to get to Japan for so long, I'd stay for the whole year if I was you. So it may not lead to a job, there's other things an experience like that can give you. I would enjoy it to its fullest. Lord knows if I was in the same position as you but in Ireland, I'd be like "psh! job shmob, I'm in Ireland! woohoo!!!!" As for an internship, unfortunately thats not possible for me, not with where I live. I love living in a little town away from cities and what not, but there is a downside, like the kind of jobs I thought of not being anywhere close to me. I am so confused, and dissatisfied with the way things have worked out, and the happy feeling I had from finally getting a job at a department store has been crushed by this "ok, so what am i going to do next?" issue, so now I'm back to feeling depressed. I feel like I'm going through a midlife crisis, and I'm only 24! I'm just missing a smokin hot young pool boy and a red convertible.

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13

But it costs me over 200 000 Swedish crowns to stay here for a year which is over 30 000 dollars. This is money I have to pay back. With a job. Being here does not lead to a job. So to me, personally, I feel like it's irresponsible to just hang out here "just because" when I know this is not going to lead to a job. Especially considering after a year here I only barely have two years of funding and student loans left, after that I can never again take loans or get funding. So, wouldn't it be more reasonable to find an education that might lead to a job instead of throwing it away on something that never will? And I don't really like Tokyo, I mean, I love Japan. But I don't love Tokyo. It's too big. And I can't relocate until after the year is up. And I definitely don't want to stay here longer than a year. So...

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Rest in peace Carrie Fisher, the legend we didn't deserve.

Wow. That is a lot of money. Ok, maybe its best to consider the problem rationally. (saying this while I know full well if I was in the same position in my dream destination, i would so not be rational)

Still haven't figured anything out...why is it life has to be such a difficult puzzle to solve? I mean, I love puzzles, but this one is ridiculous.

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13

It's a lot of money, yeah. And it's like... I already have almost twice that in debt. So I feel like I can't just view this as fun and be like "oh hehehe it'll be fine later". I have to pay this money back. With a job. Being in Japan will not lead to a job. So...

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Rest in peace Carrie Fisher, the legend we didn't deserve.

Well, doing some research into other animal careers that I may be able to branch off into with my vet tech degree. They all require more school, which is a problem. School=money, which is something I dont have at the moment. Plus for the jobs I'm looking at, there's no school around me that offers those sort of courses. Which leaves my only option being online courses, but that wouldn't work with my slow internet. Looks like, if I'm interested if these careers, I have to work random jobs (like what I have now) to save up money to get fast internet, to then take online courses. I'm researching wildlife biology and zoology. Especially zoology, since thats what I've wanted to do since elementary school. Marine biology is interesting to me, but living in the midwest of the USA, that may not be the best degree option for me! Think I may also check out things in different career fields too, for some options. I gotta figure this out! Its driving me batty!

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13

I cut off all my haaair.

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Rest in peace Carrie Fisher, the legend we didn't deserve.

I'm back for good. My mum gave me the new internet stick a few days early. We always give each other early christmas presents.

Bella, that really is a lot of money, and it is totally up to you. It is your life after all. If it were me in your place, I wouldn't think about the money. I would enjoy every minute of being there. Experience the culture, learn things that I wouldn't already know back home. Money will always be there. Even if you go back now, and leave Japan, the money will still hang over your head, until you pay it. Why not enjoy your life? It might help you to figure everything out.

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♥ Married to Thranduil, 22 April 2014 ♥

♦ Lónannûniel, Queen of the Woodland Realm ♦

In case I cant get on for the next few days (chances are slim), Merry Christmas y'all! or Happy Holidays!

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13

Merry Christmas!

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♥ Married to Thranduil, 22 April 2014 ♥

♦ Lónannûniel, Queen of the Woodland Realm ♦

Merry Christmas guys! Im late, but SO WHAT?

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Formerly Legolin12

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I really should go to sleep, my alarm will be going off in 5 hours time.

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All by Bellatrix
Married Nymphadora Tonks 29/6/13

Hope everyone's holidays went well! Enjoyed mine, luckily the slight case of food poisoning I got over the weekend ended right before Christmas, so I was good to go for all the holiday goodies! Got new music to listen to, new movies to watch (including the extended edition of Hobbit), and new books to read!

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Wed Killian Jones (Captain Hook) 4/20/13