The only thing I can think of is when you go from part 2 to part 3, the switch from Elizabeth's point of view to David's is confusing for a minute, but other that that, I like it!

Itarildë, I'd like to read some of your's! And I'll probably post some of mine when I get it written.

The only thing I can think of is when you go from part 2 to part 3, the switch from Elizabeth's point of view to David's is confusing for a minute, but other that that, I like it!

Itarildë, I'd like to read some of your's! And I'll probably post some of mine when I get it written.

I'd like to hear more about your's, Irish-Medieval *Maiden! (I like your name, by the way. lol)

Well, here's some of my story so far. This first part is actually a flashback of when the girl's were younger, it shows just one memory of why this tree is so important to them.

Eve stood the stick up right as she straightened up herself. The knot of the blanket sat at her neck like a bow-tie while the rest flowed down past her shoulders and way beyond her feet. A crown of dandelions rested regally on her forehead while she looked proudly out at her kingdom. The sun shone brightly as the deep green leaves hanging abover her from the oak tree provided substantial shad for her throne. She suddenly grinned as Loraine threw her small body at Eve's feet.
"Oh Queen Eve!" she shouted, latching onto her shoe, "please have mercy on me!" Eve did the best she could to hide her giggles.
"Silence, servant!" She threw out her stick and pointed it at the sky, careful not to hit the top of Loraine's head.
"I have thought over your punishment and you are to go to the dungeon for a billion-quatrillion years!"
"We don't have a dungeon," Loraine suddnely stood up and gazed curiously. Eve looked around, realizing she was right. Then, she had an idea.
"Here," Eve grabbed Loraine's arm and shoved her lightly against the tree trunk. They both grinned and then Loraine looked worried again.
"No, not the dungeon!!! I'm only 9! Noooooooooo!" Eve did her best to laught evily, but it quickly turned into hysterical fits of laughter. Loraine immediately joined her and they both ended on the ground, clutching their stomachs, squinted at the tear-drops of sunlight peeking through the tree leaves.

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

It's about who goes on adventure to New Zealand, and his parents are missionaries.

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Banners by Shadowcat

I like your idea! It sounds really cool!

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

Well I'm trying to get the first book done before I work on the 2nd.
But I'm almost there, tomorrow I work it for a few more hours I should have plotline done, after that is character profiles and locations track.

P.S Thanks!

P.P.S The main character will die in the first book.

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I've tried to mark it at the beginning of the parts, or chapters (or whatever one might wanna call it:P), but I do understand that it gets kinda confusing.
What happens there, anyway? I still don't really know why Elizabeth leaves him... lol.

Thanks, anyway:)

Yea that was my first atempt, it went well, but a little to hard for sit just write a chapter. So I'm useing a system instead and makes a lot easier.

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I know this may sound rude, but i need some opinion on my post where I typed some of my story. I need some insight real bad before I continue.

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

It's quite good. I like it. ^_^

Here's the first bit of mine.

Jack kept his eyes down as his sentence was read out. The hangman put the noose about his neck and he looked up at the crowd around the gallows. Some people were laughing, some just looking up at him with distaste. His and Morgan's eyes met and he looked at her sadly. Her eyes filled with tears.
"Goodbye." he whispered.
"...flying under false colours, looting, arson...." the list of his crimes was a long one. As he looked at Morgan, his thoughts went back to the day this had all started. The day his life had changed.
~~
Jack sat in the corner of the cell listening to waves break against the side of the ship. It was the first time in 5 years he had been aboard the ship, but it was not the situation he would have preferred. Stuck in the brig of his own ship was degrading and embarrassing. But jack could not dwell on the matter, as the girl sharing his cell began to stir. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the brig, she scrambled to the far side of the cell, away from Jack.
"Who are you? What do you want with me?" she demanded, cowering as though he had struck her.
"My name is Jack. And I want nothing from you love." said Jack.
"Then why an I here?" demanded the girl, almost hysterical.
"Love, d'you really think that if I was working with the men who brought you here I would be locked up in the brig? Nay, I'm a prisoner, just as you are." said Jack, grinning. After a pause, Jack spoke again. "What's your name love?"
"Morgan Williams." she said, looking at Jack suspiciously.
"Williams? What's your father's name?" God, if she's Joshua's girl... thought Jack, a puzzled look on his face.
"Alexander Goldman." she said. "I don't understand what that has to do with anything."
"Why does your father have a different surname? Ye aren't married, are ye?" said Jack, grinning.
"No. I am not married. My father... my father's name was Joshua, alright?" she said angrily.
Jack laughed a little. "So the old dog had a child after all..." he muttered to himself.
"What do you mean? You knew my father?" she said, almost hopefully.
"I knew him. Good man. He was a good friend. It's a shame what they did to him."
"What do you mean?"
"Did you not know? Your father was put to death, years ago."
"What? Why?" said Morgan, tears welling in her eyes.
"There was a mutiny, five years ago now. Your father sided with me, so they keelhauled him, then threw me into the ocean." said Jack, his eyes glassy. As the story unfolded, Morgan dissolved into tears. In the five years since the mutiny, Jack had spoken no word of the events, and telling someone hit him harder than he thought it would. It was as though he was receiving confirmation that it had actually happened.
"It's alright love. If it's a consolation, I know how you feel. Joshua was a good man, and one of my best friends. A better pirate I've yet to find."
Jack said softly. Morgan looked at him, scandalized.
"Pirate? What on Earth do you mean pirate?"
"I can't personally think of a different meaning love. Your father was no merchant sailor, no matter what you may hear."

tell me what you think.

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^all banners by me - CJ's Request Thread

Don't what think about your story. I need the lead up to the flashback understand whats going on.

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I like it, I love how kept it true to the Pirates movie

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You story is really good, cap'n Jack^^

Here's a little about your confusion. I just don't want to post the whole chapter on here, so, it's really just a flashback of sort of leading to the characters personatlities only a little bit. In it they're just playing around as little kids. But these memories are being remembered while they're 15. It would be much easier to understand if i posted more of it but I picked that because it's acutally one of them that are right at the beginning of the story and it's not right in the middle. Sorry. I wish i could make it easier but I'm not that great of a writer.

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

Edit: I'm sorry about the double post. It wouldn't work the first time.



Here's a little about your confusion. I just don't want to post the whole chapter on here, so, it's really just a flashback of sort of leading to the characters personatlities only a little bit. In it they're just playing around as little kids. But these memories are being remembered while they're 15. It would be much easier to understand if i posted more of it but I picked that because it's acutally one of them that are right at the beginning of the story and it's not right in the middle. Sorry. I wish i could make it easier but I'm not that great of a writer.

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

I think the flashback is great, Itarildë! The girls have realistic dialogue (sp?) for their ages, and it's descriptive. I'd love to read more. Maybe you PM some to me if you don't want to post it? I won't steal your ideas or share them.